Guest AuthorA Floridian knows she is back in Iowa when…
- She compulsively checks the mirror when she comes in from outside and carries a pocket brush for quick touch ups in case she has “hat hair.”
- She checks every time-and-temperature display on her drives around town, since, to paraphrase Mark Twain, if you don’t like the weather in Iowa, just wait five minutes.
- She remembers that it is necessary to “layer up,” especially if she plans to spend any time outside, since wearing too much is just as uncomfortable as wearing too little.
- She realizes that dressing for the car is another problem since getting in the car on a freezing morning requires heavy coat and gloves. However, half an hour later, when the car is warmed up, she has the choice of removing her gloves and coat or turning down the heat.
- She has to remember to leave 15-20 minutes early since scraping off the ice and snow requires time and attention. It is not enough to put on the back heater as in Florida to burn off fog. Also, it is easy to forget the headlights and taillights.
- She follows local custom and leaves the car running for the comfort of her passengers while running into a building on a quick errand.
- She remembers that driving in ice and snow is always a lottery. Stopping distances increase by football field size lengths and road conditions change radically from moment to moment.
- She notices that the rules for changing lanes have changed. Here in South Florida, when changing lanes, I will show the cars coming up on my left my turn signal and then wait until they pass me before changing lanes. A turn signal is a warning to the other cars to speed up because God forbid anyone should get ahead of you. In Iowa, I often wait for the cars to pass me, only to look in my rear view mirror and see the other car patiently waiting for me to change lanes!!!
- She can put milk on the back porch to keep it cold, and if she turns off the heating/cooling device the room will get cold by itself.
Note: Immigrants from tropical countries, as well as Floridians, have little understanding of the wardrobe requirements in extreme Northern climates. It is more than just a winter coat/summer jacket choice. You must have an interim coat for spring and fall weather. You also need a variety of styles. That is: nice formal clothes, work clothes, outside clothes, inside clothes, hot weather clothes for going out, staying in, sleeping and playing. Thank goodness for Goodwill and the Salvation Army. No surprise that my dad’s hall closet is stuffed with various weights and styles of coats, hats, ski masks and scarves.
Footgear is another difficult choice. On a normal winter day, it is sometimes easier to keep on thick-soled athletic shoes. Some women are getting around this problem with high heeled fancy boots that can be worn all the time. You can wear “overshoes” but then have the difficulty of removing them when you get inside and placing them somewhere they won’t drip muddy, snowy water all over the floor of the business or home. You can also wear heavy boots and carry a pair of inside shoes in a shoe bag to change into once you get inside. But you have the same problem as with overshoes. And by the way, long underwear is not just for the old cowboys – everyone needs them in cold weather. Too bad no one has invented thermal nylon hose yet.
In Florida, I need only two types of shoes – closed Sketchers-style for work and flip-flops for everything else. And, yes, flip-flops can be formal wear in Florida; just add sequins.
When she’s out and about and sees those sequins, a Floridian knows she’s back in Florida.
Catherine Shore Martinez is a National Board certified teacher at Pahokee Middle Senior High School in Palm Beach County. Column courtesy of Context Florida.
