Guest Author
I can’t remember the last time I felt angry, either on a political or personal level. Fiery, passionate…sure. I got a little miffed when Zayn left One Direction. But real anger?
Maybe I’m too tired, or too middle-aged, but it’s been years since I’ve experienced that kind of energy.
Anger is unproductive and a waste of time.
In politics, we know a spark of anger can be a great motivating influence. Anger, fear, and sadness. These emotions, in small doses, can get people off their couches and involved in direct action. But anything other than a spark of anger clouds our judgment and wrecks everything in its wake.
Just look to recent riots to see what happens when one group of people get pissed off and another group of people show up to televise it. It doesn’t matter that their anger is justified and what’s been happening to black men all over this country most certainly merits a response. Civil disobedience, protests, boycotts, and calls for change are most effective when they are deliberate and calm.
When people have control over their emotions, they can control the world.
We’ve also been listening to reports covering the U.S. Supreme Court, as justices hear arguments for and against gay marriage. This is where I have to check myself. A quote from Justice Antonin Scalia is enough to spark something within me, deep inside where coffee goes to die. Scalia is almost always on the wrong side of history, but when I feel my blood pressure rise, I remind myself to listen. I focus and read. Contemplate. And then rejoice in the way Ruth Bader Ginsburg softly obliterates his reasoning.
That’s a whole lot better than rage.
Anger is also the easy way out. Vilifying the opposition or whoever has harmed you is simple and common, to go from viewing them as misguided or misinformed, to evil and bad. Grow some brain cells instead of blowing them. Understand the others’ point of view. This takes a lot more time and effort, but when we do that, we grow and understand ourselves much better as a result.
Resisting the easier instinct is an exercise in patience and wisdom. It shows a willingness to learn. When something comes to us as a reaction, quickly and without thought, that’s how we know it’s wrong. Nothing worth anything is easy.
What makes us angry?
On a personal level, we often assign nefarious intentions to someone’s actions when we’re hurt. How or why someone behaves is sometimes a mystery, and it’s OK to let it remain so. It’s the action itself that deserves concern, not the intent. There aren’t many truly evil people in this world. Most want to do the right thing, and many do, while others get wrapped up in a bad situation, make awful choices, and try to cover up mistakes.
Socially or politically, there are many reasons why things go wrong, and getting at the root of a crisis can sometimes help us point toward a solution. Systematic corruption: someone didn’t think things through, with an overall lack of consequences. A person or group’s background informs and misinforms decisions, or maybe someone is struggling through a variety of issues that has them confused and worn out.
When you find yourself seething, remember that hating others hurts us more than anyone. So why give anyone that power?
Sadness makes more sense. It’s awful to be heartbroken, by a person or a political climate, but sadness is contemplative. When we grieve or feel sorrow, the pain is suffocating. But if we’re smart, we learn from it. The person, or issue, that evoked the emotion doesn’t get a lashing out because we’re sad. We nurse our own wounds first, and hopefully find ways to never let it happen again.
This isn’t easy. But again, that’s how we know it’s right.
We should never lie down and let others walk all over us. Not as a person. Not as a group of people. This isn’t about our actions, it’s about the emotions behind our actions. I’m a political organizer, for crying out loud; of course I think it’s OK to defeat one’s opponent. I’ve gone after plenty of people who deserved it. And won.
I just wasn’t angry about it.
Police officers who pounce on poor people must be called into account for what they’ve done. Anyone who would deny others their basic civil rights must lose. And if someone breaks your heart, take the necessary steps to remove that influence from your life.
But let’s defend ourselves and our principles with confidence and calm self-assurance, rather than rage and anger. The “bad” guys don’t deserve our dignity.
Catherine Durkin Robinson is a political advocate and organizer, living in Tampa. Column courtesy of Context Florida.
