Daniel TilsonGov. Rick Scott last week proposed a 2014-2015 Florida budget, even gave it a catchy name: “It’s Your Money Tax Cut Budget”!
Calls to mind one of those infomercial pitchmen, working hard at selling some shiny new gadget guaranteed to make your life better…
“Hi everybody, welcome to ‘It’s Your Money Tax Cut Budget’! I’m Governor Rick Scott, your host for the show…and what a show it is!! Gather round ladies, gentlemen, voters of all ages. It’s your money; just listen what I want to do with it! My lips will be moving fast, so stop me if you get lost. Now, let’s get to work! Ha-ha…ha…OK, not a comedy crowd, fine, let’s talk dollars and cents. You see, I’ve put a little something for everybody in this budget…uh, yes, you over there, a question?”
“Mr. Rick, me and my wife both work full time but get minimum wage and still can’t take care of our kids and pay all the bills, so are you — ”
“Am I proud you both got jobs while I was governor, you bet! Not to mention, minimum wages just went up 14 cents, not my idea and makes me cringe, but hey, good for you, that takes you to over seven-ninety an hour! So moving on, folks…I’m pouring your money back into schools, cause I’m all about education and — uh, yes Ma’am?”
“Governor, I heard lots of that money is from higher taxes on our homes, is that –“
“That is evidence of our improving economy, thanks to each budget being better than the last one! See, we put middle-class homeowners and taxpayers like you first and –“
“Hey Governor, over here! I was a middle-class homeowner and taxpayer, till I got fired from my job for talking to a union organizer, couldn’t find another job, wife got sick and bank took our house, now we’re living in a — “
“In a state on the rebound, sir! In a state where we’ve cut regulations to let developers build homes faster without worrying about crazy stuff like ‘environmental impact,’ so people like you –“
“Hold up Gov. — I heard Florida leads the country in foreclosures cause you and your Republican pals passed a law last year that made it happen, huh?”
“Sir, we’re talking budget here, not housing crisis or homelessness. And not just any budget, the ‘It’s Your Money Tax Cut Budget’ budget! So let’s cut to the chase, talk tax cuts and –“
“Excuse me Governor, can I –“
“Look at you, dear, one of our precious senior citizens; and keeping yourself so thin, that’s just — “
“It’s just awful, cause the food assistance I used to get was cut, by you and your friends in that damned budget of –“
“The ‘It’s Your Money Tax Cut Budget,’ Ma’am thank you! Speaking of cuts –“
“Hey Scott, over here! My job got cut by Carnival Cruises, then I hear companies like them get tax cuts and loopholes, pay almost nothing while — “
“While folks like you, sir, get hundreds of millions in tax relief in the ‘It’s Your Money Tax Cut Budget’ budget!”
“Hey Rick, over here, look me in the eye, tell me how giving us 10 or 20 bucks a year back on car fees is ‘relief’, huh?”
“Sir, I’d love to, but we’re out of time, got a ton more stops to make, have to run! But everybody, hey! Remember me on Election Day, OK?”
A New York University graduate, Daniel Tilson owns a Boca Raton-based firm, Full Cup Media, offering “a la carte” and custom-bundled packages of communication services.
One comment
Noreen Abrams
February 6, 2014 at 7:55 pm
Nicely done. The best comedy always does come from truth. Thank you for the entertainment and point well made.
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