Guest AuthorI’m not much of a crier, but when a colleague critiqued a draft of my dissertation years ago, I cried like a baby.
I was progressing through my dissertation process when I asked a friend to read it and tell me his thoughts.
I was in the market for a nice review with a few edits: My friend gave me what seemed like pages of corrections and criticisms, from grammar issues to organizational concerns – even a flawed research premise.
I was devastated and didn’t take the review well. I even questioned whether I was cut out to earn my doctorate.
However, after I got some tissue, downed a big bowl of ice cream, and took a night off, I returned to his notes. I quickly found that his recommendations helped improve my dissertation by leaps and bounds. After incorporating his suggestions, the paper flowed better, I was able to refine my study to be an appropriate measure of my research questions, and I became Dr. Preston, after all.
That moment, no matter how painful, changed my life.
The truth is, we don’t take criticism well. Usually when someone gives us a critique, even if we know it’s true, we tend to meet that critique with anger or fear. We not only don’t like hearing criticism, it has a profound effect on our psyche.
Researcher John Cacioppo of the University of Chicago found, unsurprisingly, that the brain reacts much more strongly to negative stimuli, be it a negative picture or a criticism. Plus, although we’d like to take Taylor Swift’s advice, it’s hard to just “Shake It Off.” We tend to hold those negative images, and they diminish our confidence and personality.
To make matters worse, according to researcher Tiffany Ito of the University of Colorado, we then tend to fixate on those negative thoughts to the point they often dictate our work product for some time after the contrary critique.
It doesn’t have to be that way, though. Learning to take and use a solid critique is an important skill all professionals need to learn and utilize.
Chances are if you are human, you are flawed. And although most of us are aware of our more overt flaws, many times we may be operating in a flawed environment and not know. Criticism brings to life such shortcomings in a much more efficient way. When we try to be overly positive, even when giving criticism, we can mislead or provide an inaccurate evaluation.
No one likes to hurt another’s feelings, but when criticism is done well it can be more effective than praise. That’s because at bottom praise is the confirmation to continue down the same path. Deft criticism, though, usually is paired with an inspiration to change your path in a positive way.
Like all other workplace competencies, though, there’s a skill to be mastered.
Taking criticism will likely always be a challenge, but a Forbes management series outlines steps you can take to combat the natural rejection of criticism.
First, check your initial reaction because it’s likely to meet negative information with either poor body language or a defense. The best route is to remain calm and take time to process it.
Second, ask for feedback in the form of how to perform better or improve. Likely the critic has an idea of advice on how to fix it.
Third, be sure to understand the “why” of the criticism. That requires a good set of ears to listen for key words and usable advice.
Fourth, ask questions and follow up. To truly address the criticism it’s important to get positive acknowledgement that you’ve addressed the issue in question.
Taking criticism is never easy, but mastering the art of taking criticism can improve your performance and be seen as a positive influence in the office or any other organization.
Michael Preston is executive director of the Florida Consortium of Metropolitan Research Universities based at UCF. He can be reached at [email protected]. Column courtesy of Context Florida.
