Guest AuthorFamily-related holidays bring out the best in people. Social media has made the ability to see into the hearts of many as they express their feelings for the people that mean the most to them, family.
As I have read the many posts about fathers, it is clear to me that we are a nation of loving, caring people, and the foundation of that love starts in our homes.
But beyond the social media is always the marketing that attaches to every holiday like a hungry remora. At this time of year, you always see TV commercials advising us all about the perfect gift for Father’s Day. Add to this those who ask fathers, “what do you want for Father’s Day?” as if a gift is really what any of us want deep down inside our heart of hearts.
You see, being a dad is not something that starts with instructions. Those child-birth classes don’t focus much on the “this is what your life is now going to be.”
They don’t mention how for the rest of your heartbeats the reason for your being will consume your daily thoughts. They don’t teach you how caring can run so deep it has no bottom, nor that joy can never be confined or restrained when it comes to the happiness that will be your daily gift.
Some of us never had a dad in the house. We learned by watching others and trying to discard the acts we hoped we would never do, while seeking to hoard the good things we saw done so one day we could hope to be good fathers. None of us is perfect — we know that and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wish I had played my hand better here and there. Because I know that every step I took left a mark — plus or minus — and every day mattered.
The most frustrating thing though to me is there are two things most dads would love to have and neither one is possible. First we’d love to be able to have just one more of those crazy-rushed-chaotic mornings with everyone getting off to school, or one of those always funny dinner tables — never failing to have laughs from deep within, or another day of my smiling kids, beaming after a race well run, a soccer game well played, a first girlfriend or boyfriend, or the thrill of getting that college acceptance in the mail.
Second would be to have the power to ease every pain and fix every problem. This is a tough one, even knowing it could never be. Over time you begin to realize it is both the highs and the lows that have enabled you to be a dad.
You discover that sometimes being a good dad is much more important on the bad days. Those bad moments too fill your heart with emotion and when looking back you come to realize even the worst of times also had great importance.
So at the marking of this, another Father’s Day, I write this for my kids, so they can know how much I love them and how much I care. Those days I stumbled and did not offer my best I regret deeply, but the moments, days and years I helped to lift you up — those days define my life.
You are the world to me and my real gift will come in seeing you one day know through your own experiences, the immeasurable joys of being a parent. Casey, Allison, Ashley and Brady, I love you guys!
And to the rest of you who share the bond of love through the construct of family — I wish you all the best. Peace, love, and joy through family make pretty good ingredients for a happy life.
Ed H. Moore, President of the Independent Colleges and Universities of Florida, writes and lives in Tallahassee. Column courtesy of Context Florida.
