Guest AuthorThis Mother’s Day the temptation is to get sentimental, to write about fond memories to erase painful ones. But another instinct prompted me in a different direction.
It forced me to write about a different type of mother, the ones who struggle not just to provide for their children, but to protect them so the sins of the past aren’t repeated.
I want to talk about Sandra Collins whose mothering instincts have led her to stand up for women (and men) sullied by sexual abuse. Collins, with the help of a few of her favorite chain restaurants, including Longhorn Steakhouse and Red Lobster, conducted the Handle Me With Care doll drive to distribute to people hurt by sexual assault.
“Let’s start with the girls who will be mothers one day so they can have a healthy life,” says Collins, founder of the I Heard Your Cry Foundation. She recently presented 300 dolls to Tallahassee area agencies.
For some, Collins might be more familiar as Cassandra Collins, the mother of two who was sexually assaulted by a sheriff’s captain in 1997 while she was serving a six-month sentence in the Gadsden County Jail for bad checks. The officer who raped Collins was never prosecuted for attacking her, but he was later convicted for assaults on other women — inmates and a fellow officer.
Since then, Collins, whose two daughters have blessed her with seven grandchildren, has been an advocate fighting for women behind bars. She fights for women, former girls, silenced by the unthinkable, the unwanted sexual advances, the violence. She distributes the dolls to groups and organizations that serve victims of sexual abuse. Collins has learned that for some girls who are sexually assaulted, there is no statute of limitations for hurt. Time doesn’t always heal.
At one of her speaking events, she encountered an 80-year-old who was sexually assaulted at a young age.
“She could never talk about it. She said she would take it to her grave,” Collins says. The woman wept after Collins gave her a baby doll.
But this is not just about girls, she says. Boys aren’t immune to sexual assault.
“All young children are vulnerable,” says the 52-year-old. “There are many who had been raped. They don’t think they are whole because of what has been done in their lives.”
For this Mother’s Day, Collins wants women to do more than just accept the flowers and the hugs. She wants mothers to give something back.
“Mothers need to talk about the things they have experienced,” Collins says. “To all the mothers, my message is — to find healing this Mother’s Day, talk about things you never talked about.”
It’s the most precious Mother’s Day gift sons and daughters can get.
Collins can be reached at [email protected]
Andrew J. Skerritt is author of Ashamed to Die: Silence, Denial and the AIDS Epidemic in the South. He lives in Tallahassee. Follow him on Twitter @andrewjskerritt. Column courtesy of Context Florida.
