Daniel TilsonWith Florida Gov. Rick Scott’s endless evasions of myriad legitimate questions from the press garnering national coverage, not to mention racking up more points in the ongoing “America’s Worst Governor” competition, I thought I’d reach across the aisle to help out. So I came up with some snappy new rap song lyrics for Slick Rick to add a bangin’ beat of his choosing to.
I call it,“Don’t Be Askin’ Me!” and it goes something like this…
“Yes-Yes, I’m the guvna won’t answer straight questions,
Cause all that truthiness stuff, gives me in-di-gestion!
No-No, don’t be askin’ me ‘bout equality ‘n gay marriage,
Cause me I’m all ‘bout man and wife, and baby carriage!
So don’t be askin’ me this, don’t be askin’ me that,
Not unless you want me grinnin’ like the Cheshire cat!
I’m talkin’ JOBS, uhh-huhh, I spell it J-O-B-S!
Cause y’know I can’t create ‘em without the B-S!
Yes I got mad multi-millions, hell I’m an ex-CEO,
So when it comes to business, I can put on a show!
But if you try and ask me ‘bout a minimum wage hike,
I’ll cringe and say, just havin’ jobs is something to like!
So don’t be askin’ me this, don’t be askin’ me that,
Not unless you want me grinnin’ like the Cheshire cat!
I’m talkin’ JOBS, ohh-myy, I spell it J-O-B-S!
Cause y’know I don’t create ‘em without the B-S!
Yes I changed my job-creatin’ goals at least 2 or 3 times,
But don’t worry ‘bout the reasons, just follow the rhymes!
Good jobs with livin’ wages, health care and sick days?
Wake up and just be grateful you got a job that still pays!
So don’t be askin’ me this, don’t be askin’ me that,
Not unless you want me grinnin’ like the Cheshire cat!
I’m talkin’ JOBS, woo-hoo, I spell it J-O-B-S!
Cause y’know I won’t create ‘em without the B-S!
Yes I’ve had all my scandals, and troubles with the truth,
But gettin’ honest answers would be like pullin’ a tooth!
Don’t be drillin’ too far down, don’t be diggin’ too deep,
Cause all you’re likely to find is I’m a genuine creep!
So don’t be askin’ me this, don’t be askin’ me that,
Not unless you want me grinnin’ like the Cheshire cat!
I’m talkin’ JOBS, hot-dog, I spell it J-O-B-S!
Cause y’know I won’t create ‘em without all the B-S!”
(Chorus repeats, over and over, until at least Nov. 4)
Daniel Tilson has a Boca Raton-based communications firm called Full Cup Media, specializing in online video and written content for non-profits, political candidates and organizations, and small businesses. Column courtesy of Context Florida.
