Which Ron DeSantis did Florida just get back? Better hide the dog.

Ron DeSantis
We were hoping for a collegial Governor to return from the trail, but it's clear we're getting the drunk, angry dad.

There was a moment on the campaign trail with Gov. Ron DeSantis in which he attempted to humanize himself by telling a reporter that he wanted a “golden lab.”

Let’s hope, for the dog’s sake, that this plan for the DeSantis family was just a talking point for the failed presidential candidate to make him seem relatable to people who aren’t unhappy anti-woke warrior robots.

Any dog within kicking distance of those definitely-not-lifted gubernatorial boots is going to be dialing the animal abuse hotline if it can figure out how to get around the problem of having claws instead of opposable thumbs.

And that is the metaphor that best answers the central and ongoing question plaguing Tallahassee’s political class: Which Ron DeSantis just came back from the presidential campaign trail?

We’d like to have the DeSantis of yesteryear; the one fresh from his first Governor’s race who defied partisan worries by championing the environment and other bygone middle-of-the-road-type policymaking.

But what it seems we’re getting is the vengeful, angry DeSantis who will be the public official equivalent of a drunk dad returning from a all-night bender itching to kick the family pooch.

I thought it might take a couple of months before we knew for sure. But, alas, it turns out less than a week is sufficient time to show us where this is going.

Hide the dog.

Sources have told me that DeSantis has implemented a new edict that departures from his administration are on hold until at least Summer, if not next year. Anyone who leaves would be blacklisted, according to sources.

After DeSantis slashed about $130 million of Agriculture Commissioner Wilton Simpson’s budget priorities last year, Simpson took to News Service of Florida reporter Dara Kam’s podcast to dish on the slight, noting that “karma’s a bitch.” Now, sources have told Florida Politics that DeSantis’ Director of Policy and Budget, Chris Spencer, is preparing for more redlines in the upcoming budget targeting Simpson, who endorsed Trump the same day DeSantis dropped out of the presidential race.

Adding more evidence that Florida’s Governor is quite salty, lawmakers scrapped a plan to use taxpayer funds to pay Trump’s legal bills after DeSantis threatened to veto it. You’ll remember, DeSantis endorsed Trump when he dropped out of the race, but it wasn’t exactly a glowing endorsement.

And then there’s this: DeSantis’ most prominent defenders and online shit-stirrers, Christina Pushaw and Jeremy Redfern, are still tweeting their hearts out jabbing the media for the campaign’s many perceived slights.

It’s clear that DeSantis remains completely on brand: vindictive, petty, divisive and focused on causing pain rather than fixing problems.

In other words, every character flaw Primary voters sensed within minutes after meeting DeSantis is now on full display in Florida, amplified by the bitterness of defeat.

It’s going to be a long three years, and if you’re a dog, a long 21 years. And trust me, in the Governor’s view, we’re all dogs.

Peter Schorsch

Peter Schorsch is the President of Extensive Enterprises Media and is the publisher of FloridaPolitics.com, INFLUENCE Magazine, and Sunburn, the morning read of what’s hot in Florida politics. Previous to his publishing efforts, Peter was a political consultant to dozens of congressional and state campaigns, as well as several of the state’s largest governmental affairs and public relations firms. Peter lives in St. Petersburg with his wife, Michelle, and their daughter, Ella. Follow Peter on Twitter @PeterSchorschFL.


  • Charles Lall

    January 25, 2024 at 2:38 pm

    Funny thing. HE did start off as a good Florida Man, and even to me and many middle of the road voters seemed ok. Then came the strategy to be a Trumpian Sumpin.
    I really think if he stayed true to that guy, so many registered republicans and independents would have found a respite from the anger and vitriol of the MAGA crowd, he would have had a better chance. and people wouldnt have given a tinkers damn about the boots, either white or cowboy.

    • Oh, really?

      January 26, 2024 at 9:18 am

      Anyone who dog whistles “don’t monkey it up” in reference to an African-American opponent as DeSantis did is far from “ok” and a “good Florida Man.” Racism, veiled or overt, is not a “middle of the road” position.

  • My Take

    January 25, 2024 at 2:42 pm

    Are Casey and the children safe?

  • Dr. Franklin Waters

    January 25, 2024 at 2:51 pm

    Being the drunk, angry dad was the reason his campaign was a disaster and his approval rating as governor is underwater as well too. Everybody hates him.

    But hey, this could be just what we need to swing the poltical pendulum back to the Blue side.

  • Michael K

    January 25, 2024 at 3:15 pm

    Gavin Newsom correctly predicted that Rhonda would never see the White House. His reaction to DeSantis backing down: “Fire sale on Ron DeSantis merch today!”

    Never trust a person who carries a poop map.

    • Dont Say FLA

      January 26, 2024 at 3:18 pm

      I wonder what will become of the DeSantis Club Cards that he made because Trump had Trump Club Cards?

  • Dont Say FLA

    January 25, 2024 at 3:59 pm

    Florida is stuck with the Raging Rhondaroid for only as long the state legislature continues to allow his campaign expenditures of state treasury funds to be hidden from Sunshine.

    Let me put that to some music for everybody:

    Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo
    Here comes the sun, and I say
    It’s alright

    Little darlin’, it’s been a long, cold, lonely winter
    Little darlin’, it feels like years since it’s been here

    Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo
    Here comes the sun, and I say
    It’s alright

    Little darlin’, the smile’s returning to their faces
    Little darlin’, it seems like years since it’s been here

    Here comes the sun
    Here comes the sun, and I say
    It’s alright

    Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
    Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
    Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
    Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
    Sun, sun, sun, here it comes

    Little darlin’, I feel that ice is slowly melting
    Little darlin’, it seems like years since it’s been clear

    Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo
    Here comes the sun, and I say
    It’s alright

    Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo
    Here comes the sun
    It’s alright

    It’s alright

    • Biscuit

      January 25, 2024 at 4:42 pm

      That’s a lot of doo-doo. Definitely appropriate in reference to our Legislature.

    • My Take

      January 25, 2024 at 10:37 pm

      Doo doo Ron Ron
      1962 The Crystals

  • HIde the sheep

    January 25, 2024 at 4:12 pm

    Better hide the sheep, too. Casey surely won’t be having any more of that loser’s sad little Dee.

  • M. Mouse

    January 25, 2024 at 4:21 pm

    Methinks all we’ll get from them is the doo-doo! Squeak!

  • My Take

    January 25, 2024 at 4:26 pm

    The Little-Man loser is going to need some heavy over-compemsaton. Woe be the presently still undefiled state colleges and universities. And school boards.

  • TimeToMoveOn

    January 25, 2024 at 5:13 pm

    At what point do we stop and ask ourselves this obvious question – should the Republican party be split into two parties? Maybe call the far left the Hyena Party?” DeSantis would fit right in.

    • TimeToMoveOn

      January 25, 2024 at 5:15 pm

      Correction…the far RIGHT.

  • JD

    January 25, 2024 at 6:02 pm

    I hope this drives the state Blue. I used to love it was purple and people would help each other across the aisle. Now, I don’t want any of it RED. They went to far and obviously don’t give a damn about the people they govern.

    Buh bye Felica.

    • Red Man

      January 26, 2024 at 6:47 am

      People flee Blue states because of high taxes, crime, sanctuary cities / states. If you don’t like it here then you are free to go. Dont Kalifornia / New York, etc, etc. My Florida.

      • JD

        January 26, 2024 at 8:02 am

        Again, I’m not going anywhere and I’ll work to change this state back to Purple, and then Blue.

        You’ll enjoy a better life, but no need to thank me.

        You all are free to leave as well. Don’t let the proverbial door hit you in the azz.

        • Impeach Biden

          January 26, 2024 at 8:45 am

          Who is the one complaining about the Governor?
          Who is the one complaining about the political makeup of the state?
          Who is the one wanting to change the state to Blue?
          Bottom line is this states is now home to people that have had enough of the Blue stupidity. That’s why you should leave. Go to Kalifornia and see what services you get for all those high taxes. Then ask yourself why the companies and people are leaving. Remember that state lost a congressional seat for the first time in its history. Buh Bye!

    • Impeach Biden

      January 26, 2024 at 6:57 am

      Immigration is going to be a huge problem for you Dems. The activist side of your party will be jumping up and down over abortion rights but the Southern Border invasion will be the number one issue in the general election. Maybe you Dems will try to issue voter registration to the nearly 10 million illegals that have entered since the most incompetent President took office since Jimmy Carter.

      • JD

        January 26, 2024 at 8:07 am

        That’s all BS that Trumps hoping on, and the GOP is trying to MAKE it an issue – and why they are holding up the immigration bills.

        GOP won’t govern for the people and manufacture crisis or keep them going. Like drug companies not want to find cures.

        And Jimmy was the only president in living memory that actually walked his walk and talked his talked. Can any of the others say the same? Nope.

        So keep jumping up and down with Hannity talking points without evidence. Even your own Republicans are trying to backdoor the immigration election talking points.

        • Impeach Biden

          January 26, 2024 at 8:55 am

          Your President has allowed more illegals in than any other in the history of this country. Remember the Executive Orders he signed on day one. Half the Governors in this country are supporting Texas now. The insanity must stop.

          • JD

            January 26, 2024 at 11:02 am

            Your words, not mine. The Governors need to stop and support their President.

        • Red Man

          January 26, 2024 at 8:57 am

          And you with your CNN and MSNBC crap. I guess you watch Hannity. Not me.

          • JD

            January 26, 2024 at 11:03 am

            Opps, I guess I triggered again.

      • Michael K

        January 26, 2024 at 9:01 am

        News flash: Guess who is holding up bipartisan legislation to address the issue? DJT and feeble-minded Republicans who cower before him. Why? Republicans and Trump do not want a solution – all they want is a campaign slogan to run on.

        • Impeach Biden

          January 26, 2024 at 9:31 am

          Nice try Michael K. Demos are experts at politics. The Repubs might be late but this is the exact thing your Demos would do. This administration screwed up the Border. They will eat it now. Why should the Repubs bail out Joe and Kamala after they allowed nearly 10 million in illegally?

          • Michael K

            January 26, 2024 at 11:07 am

            whatabout whatabout whatabout. Guessing you are Christine Pushaw?

      • Sad, richardless screen name I refuse to change

        January 26, 2024 at 9:24 am

        Immigration. the thing Biden was willing to concede to the Repubs until Mitch decided he didn’t want to give Biden an “election year victory” this week. So nothing will be done on it…yet again. Humans suffer so you can score political points? Biden will hang that on Mitch during the State of the Union, along with the fetus fascism. Add your parties politics on immigration to bailing on Ukraine, a good economy and suddenly that shoe-in point you think you have goes the way of the 2022 Red Wave.

      • My Take

        January 26, 2024 at 12:13 pm

        Incompetent would still be far better than malevolent.

  • My Take

    January 26, 2024 at 3:20 am

    The world of woke and drag queens won.

Comments are closed.


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