Catherine Durkin Robinson: How a mentor can help a teenager who is about to make bad choices

Remember when you blew off high school in April of your senior year because you thought it’d be more fun to travel with the Grateful Dead and sell grilled cheese sandwiches?

Or how about that time you skipped finals to spend a week harvesting marijuana seeds because hydroponic pot was the wave of the future?

Boy, those were the days, right? When you were confused and impulsive and lost?

Hopefully you’ve grown into a successful adult with few, if any, felonies on your record. It sure would be great if you took those life lessons and slightly embarrassing moments and helped a young kid avoid similar mistakes. You see, in your neighborhood school, right this second, is a teenager who is about to make some bad choices, dropping out before he or she graduates, and you can help stop it.

All it takes is an hour a week.

Even if you live in a valued neighborhood with stellar schools, there are young adults who need your advice and guidance. Schools with graduation rates at 95 percent or better are impressive, but that means at least a hundred students who could use some assistance so they don’t fall through the cracks. Almost every school has students who are slipping away and almost every school has teachers who can’t quite reach them.

Perhaps your school has a mentor program. Check out its website or call its guidance office. In some cases, a concerned mom or dad has set up a program to help kids who might not otherwise get over the hurdles of adolescence. That’s what happened at my kids’ school and the administration supports it because anything that raises graduation rates helps everyone: the kids, the school, the neighborhood. It’s too irresistible to ignore.

No mentor program at your local school? How about starting one?

If your school has a fairly active parental base, they will often set money aside to help kids who need food, laptops, books, dues for clubs or sports, etc. They just don’t always know who to help. A mentor program gets them the names of kids in need.

At first, my children’s school had just a few kids who applied and many were embarrassed to need the help. The applicants kept their interest in a mentor program a secret. Less than a dozen took that chance and reached out.

A group of adults reached back and now, just a few years later, there’s a waiting list.

These are kids who have to want to improve. They make a commitment to do their part and get paired with an adult who can help show them the way.

The adult doesn’t have to be a former screw-up, or a parent, or a former teacher. They don’t have to have any experience with kids at all. Some mentors are simply members of the community who want to help a young person in need.

What do mentors do? We spend an hour at the school every week talking to the student, meeting with the student’s teachers and/or guidance counselor, checking up on grades or discipline issues. Sometimes all a teenager needs is an adult to listen. Sometimes they need someone to intervene on their behalf and advocate for them, and their parents are too busy working two or three jobs putting food on the table. Sometimes they just want a snack, maybe a reference for a part-time job, and the knowledge that someone cares about them.

That’s how a mentor can help. At the very least, one more concerned adult in a kid’s life is one more concerned adult. Students who are at-risk for graduating can only benefit from the concern and attention.

It reminds me of a story I once heard:

This guy’s walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can’t get out. A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, “Hey you. Can you help me out?” The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on.

Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, “Father, I’m down in this hole, can you help me out?” The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on.

Then a friend walks by, “Hey, Joe, it’s me, can you help me out?” And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, “Are you stupid? Now we’re both down here.” The friend says, “Yeah, but I’ve been down here before and I know the way out.”

Give it a try. You’d be surprised what can happen in an hour.

Catherine Durkin Robinson is a political advocate and organizer, living in Tampa. Column courtesy of Context Florida.

 

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