Guest AuthorHave you heard? A new drug is set to hit pharmacies in mid-October, called flibanserin, marketed as Addyi, and meant to treat “female sexual dysfunction.” Reports erroneously compare the drug to Viagra. Viagra increases blood flow to the penis and helps about 100 percent of the men who use it. Addyi works more like an anti-depressant, when it works at all.
Some feminists and women’s rights groups hail the FDA’s recent approval as a breakthrough for women. Others raise concerns about Addyi’s side effects, which include dizziness and fainting, especially if women have a blood pressure problem or have had a glass of alcohol.
That’s right. You can’t drink at all if you take Addyi and the drug reportedly only helps about 10 percent of women suffering from a low sex drive.
Whether for or against, columns about this wonder drug are entertaining and a great way to learn new words for Scrabble. But we should all be concerned about yet another disease, that may or may not exist because the science isn’t clear, and yet another pharmaceutical company claiming to treat it.
Society is in love with easy answers from the comfort of our couches. We pop pills to suppress certain appetites, build up others, and feel good instead of adopting healthy eating habits, committing to an exercise regimen, or looking within ourselves for the answers that elude us.
There is evidence to suggest women combat sexual frustration by losing themselves in poorly written books that dangerously misrepresent kinky play like BDSM, and then line up around the block when said books are made into sh**ty movies.
I don’t think there’s a pill that can solve that, so let’s give introspection a go. If you are uninterested in sex with the man you love, answer the following questions:
Do you exercise regularly?
Does he?
Do you eat a healthy and balanced diet?
Does he?
Do you have a job that you enjoy?
Are you active and satisfied throughout the day?
Is your husband or partner supportive and loving?
Do you feel safe with him?
Have you recently read a good book or was able to have a meaningful conversation about something other than your children?
Does your husband chew with his mouth closed and spend very little time watching television or playing golf?
Does he trim those nose hairs and bathe regularly?
Does he know how to please you?
Do you know how to please yourself?
Do you own a vibrator or other sex toys?
Do you use them?
Do you spend very little time on Facebook, scrapbooking or watching reality television?
Are you willing to give up a glass of wine, or two, just to get laid?
If you answered “no” to any of the above questions, a pill may not be your solution.
If our sex drive dips, it’s not the end of the world. Actions can change our feelings. How many times have we rolled over, hit the alarm, and told ourselves to go back to sleep because we don’t feel like running five miles? But we get out of bed anyway, don’t we? At the end of those five miles we’re glad we did, right?
Sex can be the same way. If your partner is kind and loving, who deserves some comfort and affection and would love to shower you with the same, then you owe it to him and yourself to get to the bottom of what’s bothering you.
That kind of innovation and spirit, properly applied, can turn us all on better than a pill. The clues are everywhere and solutions within reach. We just have to know where to look.
And it starts by getting off the couch.
Catherine Durkin Robinson co-parents twin sons, organizes families for advocacy purposes, writes syndicated columns, mentors kids, runs a few races, and still finds time to have sex on a regular basis. Column courtesy of Context Florida.
