Daniel Tilson
This past weekend old friends Shirley, Jack and Yvonne attended an “open house” at a new adult residential community in their area. Shirley’s recently divorced, unemployed 20-something son Pete tagged along…
LOUDSPEAKER: Testing 1 – 2 – is this working? TESTING…
PETE: IT’S WORKING, STOP SHOUTING!
SHIRLEY: Pete, Shhh!
LOUDSPEAKER: So…Welcome to Bonita Boca Verde Vista! Our presentation starts any minute, so until then…talk amongst yourselves!
PETE: Hey Jack, whaddaya say we hit the buffet again and grab…
SHIRLEY: Peter, enough with the buffet for crying out loud!
JACK: Besides Pete, look, the help is clearing it away already…
PETE: Must be time for another union break…
YVONNE: Excuuuse Me?
JACK: Uh-oh.
PETE: What, what’d I…?
SHIRLEY: Pete, shush! Yvonne, ignore him, he doesn’t know…
YVONNE: What he’s saying? That’s for sure, trash-talking unions like…
PETE: Like they’ve done nothing for me? Like all they get you are coffee breaks and…
SHIRLEY: And a life…a decent life, better…
PETE: Better what? Better chance you lose your job? Like those auto workers in Tennessee who said “To hell with that!” last week and kicked out the union?
SHIRLEY: Tell you what I’m gonna kick…
YVONNE: Shirley! I got this. Now listen to me, boy. I know “better what,” because your momma and me have been working in that nursing home for over 20 years — before and after the union. After? Better pay. Sick leave. Overtime pay. Health benefits…
SHIRLEY: Grievance rules that saved my job, kept us from losing…
PETE: Huh? What’re you talking about?
SHIRLEY: I’m talking about a jerk shift manager who…
YVONNE: Cynthia Mellon, stuck-up little…
SHIRLEY: Ha, leave it to my shop steward over here!
PETE: So what happened? How come you never told me?
SHIRLEY: You had enough trouble making it through middle school, I wasn’t making it harder. And what happened was, Miss Melon had it in for me, started making me do extra dirty work after-shift, tried getting me fired…
YVONNE: Till your steward had the union file a grievance, got truth told, got you your due, got that witch transferred out…
SHIRLEY: Just the kind of thing might’ve saved your job, Petey, if you were in a union shop with…
PETE: For Crissakes – “Petey”? And hello, this is Florida. Union shops? Yeah, right.
JACK: Right, alright – right to work, stinking lie of a law that crooked businessmen and politicians here use to keep unions out.
PETE: Like in Tennessee, but…
JACK: But the United Auto Workers almost won anyway, election was close. And Pete, those workers didn’t kick the union out, because there wasn’t one there yet.
YVONNE: If there was, their pay and benefits wouldn’t be worse than union factories.
PETE: Then why’d the union lose?
JACK: Because the crooked characters scared people, told lies about the factory closing if the union came.
YVONNE: And lies about unions being just for liberals, or just for Obama…
SHIRLEY: When truth is, they’re just for working folks who want fair pay, basic benefits…
YVONNE: And protection…somebody having our back and…
LOUDSPEAKER: Ladies & Gentleman, we’re about to start our slideshow!
JACK: And…a shot at being able to retire comfortably in a place like this!
PETE: OK…I get it. Got to wise up, stop listening to lies about unions. But…if I get a union job, some security…I am not retiring to a place like this, no freaking…
Room Lights Dim.
SHIRLEY: Shhh!
A New York University graduate, Daniel Tilson owns a Boca Raton-based firm, Full Cup Media, offering “a la carte” and custom-bundled packages of communication services.
