Guest AuthorUp there in a mansion on ole’ Adams Street
Lives such a Grinch Governor you ever did meet.
He flies through the air on his own private jet
Fundraising with every special interest he met.
A billion he cut straight from our poor schools
Celebrating grinchily with Tea Party fools.
Meanwhile our students struggle to learn
With few books and electives – for which every mind yearns.
He took three percent from workers of the state,
Straight from their paychecks, right off their plates.
He gave them it back and called it a raise,
And now shrugs curiously from their lack of praise.
And “Voting be damned!” he said with a frown,
So he shortened early voting in every town.
And a great purging he tried ever so strong,
As voting lines fanned out over 10 miles long.
He then fought the scourge of Obamacare —
Health coverage for the poor only Obama would dare!
So he acted in support, but did nothing of note
And left the House to rejoice without even a vote.
As our seas bloom in red and our springs start to fester
He celebrates unchecked growth like a slaphappy jester,
And lets pollution abound with a slick grinning wink
Though there soon may be no more clean water to drink
Young children of immigrants fought for a dream,
Drivers’ licenses and in-state tuition they beamed,
But instead he listened to race-bating dopes,
So a veto he stamped on all of their hopes.
And forget the unemployed this holiday season
As the benefits website still fails for no reason.
He knows that for them he needn’t care at all,
‘Cause they won’t be voting for him, come next fall.
As long as the rich get their contracts and tax cuts,
And Quick Action Fund cash to fill all their rich guts.
Though jobs may not surface there is nothing to fear
The Grinch Governor’s campaigning at this time of year!
So for all those in Florida who made his Grinch list,
Don’t stomp on the floor or raise up your fist,
During this holiday season don’t shed a tear,
He’ll be up for election in less than a year!
Season’s Greetings my fellow Floridians!
