Florence Snyder: Just in time for Christmas, John Heilemann’s chickens come home to roost
Co-authors John Heilemann, left, and Mark Halperin attend the premiere of HBO Films' "Game Change" at the Ziegfeld Theatre on Wednesday, March 7, 2012 in New York. (AP Photo/Evan Agostini)

Mark Halperin, John Heilemann

It took a while, but John Heilemann‘s chickens came home to roost, as chickens always do.

Political infotainment addicts know Heilemann as the bald half of the ubiquitous Beltway byline Mark Halperin & John Heilemann. H & H have a gift for glibness and a talent for spinning very small nuggets of news into very big paydays on multiple media platforms.

The gravy train ground to a halt in October when Halperin’s decades-old hobby of powering up his overprivileged penis and aiming it in the direction of powerless young women was revealed. Halperin apologized for his “aggressive and crude” behavior, which is Halperin-speak for “I’m hot, and I can do what I want.”

Heilemann claimed to be “flabbergasted and shocked.” Nobody believed that, except for H & H’s fools and fellow-travelers at Morning Joe.

While Mika (Know Your Value) Brzezinski was gaslighting Halperin’s victims, a real reporter at the Washington Post was putting together a piece of serious journalism which included a Halperin victim’s extremely specific recollection of that time in 2007 when she told Heilemann exactly what his homeboy was about.

Heilemann told Paul Farhi that he “doesn’t recall” that conversation, and “declined to be quoted directly.”

If you can swallow that story, it’s probably time to ease up on the hot buttered rum. From the Horny Harveys in Hollywood to the Oversexed Senators in Tallahassee, there’s always a bunch of beneficiaries around the Great Man who know plenty and say nothing that would interfere with the revenue streams.

It takes a special kind of arrogance to live in a palatial glass house with a media sex creep like Halperin and throw stones at political sex creeps like Donald Trump and Roy Moore.

That, and a Stage 4 case of Selective Memory Disease.

Florence Snyder

Florence Beth Snyder is a Tallahassee-based lawyer and consultant.


Florida Politics is a statewide, new media platform covering campaigns, elections, government, policy, and lobbying in Florida. This platform and all of its content are owned by Extensive Enterprises Media.

Publisher: Peter Schorsch @PeterSchorschFL

Contributors & reporters: Phil Ammann, Jason Delgado, Renzo Downey, Daniel Figueroa, A.G. Gancarski, Anne Geggis, Kelly Hayes, Joe Henderson, Ryan Nicol, Jacob Ogles, Scott Powers, Gray Rohrer, Jesse Scheckner, Christine Sexton, Andrew Wilson, Mike Wright, and Tristan Wood.

Email: [email protected]
Twitter: @PeterSchorschFL
Phone: (727) 642-3162
Address: 204 37th Avenue North #182
St. Petersburg, Florida 33704

Sign up for Sunburn