Florida Family Law Reform compares alimony to slavery

alimony fight
The histrionics seemingly know no bounds.

Here’s a question no PR rep wants to hear: Is it worse to mock disabled people or make light of slavery?

The Florida Family Law Reform PAC is apparently looking for an answer.

After kicking off March by hijacking a story about the first openly autistic lawyer admitted to the Florida Bar, the men’s rights group has made another embarrassingly awful Facebook post.

This time, the group is comparing permanent alimony to slavery.

Really.

“Slavery was once legal until the civil war was won. It was also legal for women not to have the right to vote. Just because something is legal doesn’t make it right,” the group wrote. “Permanent alimony is still legal in a few states, but alimony until death is immoral.”

The drivel continues.

“When women couldn’t get educations or become employed, it was needed. We have so many rights now that we are even paying lifetime alimony because we outearned our former husbands. This is the year that we are taking a firm stance against this immorality by abolishing lifetime alimony.

“Some people are just leaving and paying the courts’ games anymore. We have had enough. This isn’t ‘hate’ or abolishing alimony. This is about alimony with an end date and getting able-bodied adults earning a living.”

There’s just so much to unpack here. And none of it is helpful in getting their favored alimony bill passed.

The Florida Family Law Reform PAC throws around the word “abolish” quite a bit, but it’s clear nobody at HQ understands the connotation of using that word when discussing the worst chapter in American history.

Nobody is disputing that slavery used to be legal in the United States. Nobody is saying slavery isn’t wholly immoral.

But abolitionists certainly didn’t fight for slavery “with an end date.” They fought for the end of slavery, period.

Permanent alimony isn’t in the same ballpark. At most, it’s a financial burden.

This is what you get when you have a group comprised of self-important people who think their problems are the center of the universe.

They invoke the Civil War as if they believe they’re engaged in a titanic battle for the survival of a nation. They cheapen the women’s suffrage movement as if they’re being subjugated. They allude to the decades-long fight to end chattel slavery as if they themselves are treated as less than human.

According to the post, written in the voice of a woman, the women’s rights movement is over, and now those crusaders are turning their attention to a problem primarily affecting men. After all, women have “so many rights now” that even they have to pay permanent alimony.

The histrionics seemingly know no bounds.

How long before they refer to permanent alimony as their “personal Vietnam” or succumb to Godwin’s law and start calling their opposition Nazis?

That would certainly be in line with their current social media persona: a group that loves shooting itself in the foot.

Peter Schorsch

Peter Schorsch is the President of Extensive Enterprises and is the publisher of some of Florida’s most influential new media websites, including Florida Politics and Orlando Rising and Sunburn, the morning read of what’s hot in Florida politics. Schorsch is also publisher of INFLUENCE Magazine. For several years, Peter's blog was ranked by the Washington Post as the best state-based blog in Florida. In addition to his publishing efforts, Peter is a political consultant to several of the state’s largest governmental affairs and public relations firms. Peter lives in St. Petersburg with his wife, Michelle, and their daughter, Ella.


54 comments

  • Sharon Cohen

    March 20, 2019 at 11:52 pm

    Thank you for addressing the utter hate the Alimony Reform PAC has used to belittle and bully their ex wives on a social forum. Please continue the good work and ask questions about the men who started this PAC who left the state to avoid paying court ordered support. The first problem is enforcing court ordered support and conducting impact studies of retroactive and arbitrary termination of spousal support after long term marriages where women can’t just rebound after being stay at home mothers.

    • Michel Andre Buhler

      March 21, 2019 at 9:55 am

      There have been a plethora of studies done on unemployment insurance; and that is exactly what alimony is. Marriage unemployment insurance. Studies show that limiting the term and the amount of insurance is most effective to get the unemployed (i.e. lesser earning spouse) back on his/her feet. It reduces the marginal cost at which the unemployed will decide to stop taking something that is earned by another (whether taxpayer or alimony obligor), and reduces unemployment. A job is the best form of welfare! Moreover, alimony is not a reward for being a good spouse, great parent etc. Equitable distribution – the equal distribution of marital assets – is the reward for having been in a marriage.

      • Not buying it

        March 21, 2019 at 8:18 pm

        And some opted to have a guarantee for their old age in the form of alimony versus taking a house or half a house or a business etc.

        • Roger Kline

          March 22, 2019 at 9:00 pm

          As an attorney, I can honestly say so many women or men make agreements in the form of alimony instead of having to split homes and businesses in half. Most divorces don’t happen in front of a judge and settlements can get creative to say the least. So with the retroactive bills these people are allowed to keep their homes and businesses and stop paying alimony! Hardly equitable at all.

          • Debbie Leff-Kelapire

            March 22, 2019 at 11:19 pm

            I would love to see those redacted agreements, if they exist. Those are one in thousands, maybe. Who would give up a bird in the hand for something that cannot be guaranteed or that could end suddenly? The law could have a workaround for those few cases. You can’t have a law where the many are hurt to protect a few. You have to have a law for the many with a protection built in for those few.

    • bill null

      March 21, 2019 at 3:19 pm

      There are sentencing guidelines when facing prison
      Guidelines for child support–if not outright formulas

      All aspects of American life have beginning, a middle and an ending–except alimony.
      To suggest a payor should pay until death is aborrent and beyond the pale.

      We don’t have bad judges–nor bad attorneys.

      We have bad law–until it changes–payors will and should continue to leave

  • Michel Andre Buhler

    March 21, 2019 at 9:49 am

    The 13th Amendment outlaws indentured servitude; which means working for another person under the threat of incarceration or legal action. Exactly how is permanent alimony not indentured slavery? If I don’t pay my ex, she can get me arrested and unleash a torrent of lawyers that with a judge’s help will garnish, attach, and expropriate my hard-earned assets; particularly those that I’ve earned AFTER my divorce.

    Nobody says “abolish” alimony. All we ask is to make it more like “marriage unemployment insurance” for a limited time and for a limited amount to help the lesser earning spouse to become self sufficient. We also ask for clarity in the law so that rulings in Tampa, Jacksonville, Miami or Naples are consistent.

    • Not buying it

      March 21, 2019 at 4:11 pm

      Living in Tampa or Jacksonville or Miami or Naples are different (cost of living). So why should a cookie cutter approach be given when the cost to live in one city versus another is different? Even when residing in each of these cities, the cost of living varies when living in different areas. In Orlando a 2 bedroom apartment downtown can run up to 1500. On the west side that same apartment might be 900. Square pegs do not fit into round holes. Discretion should be in the judges hands, not the legislature running on the whims of a small group of wealthy individuals who can afford to hire lobbyists. Speaking of – wasn’t your initial donation 8k? And you made several after that as well?

      • TJB

        March 21, 2019 at 5:28 pm

        There is already a cookie cutter approach. Alimony seems to be the norm and for marriages as short as 12 years.

        Guidelines are needed so you know what to expect and you can PLAN for it.

        Sorry but I’m not buying all the excuses for PERMANENT alimony.

        • Not buying it

          March 21, 2019 at 5:50 pm

          No you are not Tammy, because you are the subsequent wife and you think it takes money away from you. I warned all of yall. Going after me, I don’t care. Going after my kid? I will be there even if it doesn’t affect me. None of you should have ever gone after my child.

          • TJB

            March 21, 2019 at 10:04 pm

            Jennifer, the alimony he pays to his ex does not take away from me. It takes away from him.
            No one is going after your kid. You posed as her and incited people under the guise of being a poor innocent child. Your charade was really seen through. Why don’t you go lay down for awhile, you’re starting to froth.

          • Jennifer

            March 23, 2019 at 1:07 am

            Tammy, I don’t pose as her. She was standing right there in front of the lawmakers herself. I did not somehow make myself be her. As I have said before, everyone of you know when it is me. I can use my name or not use my name. But what all of you have done and continue to do now is utterly ridiculous. You slander my name. You have all caused serious harm to me. You harass and bully him. You use homophobic shaming rhetoric. I am glad the bill is not being heard. I hope it continues along that path. I can’t think of a more deserving group.

  • Sue Nelson

    March 21, 2019 at 9:58 am

    Keep addressing this matter, please. Devoted Ex-wives who gave their life and best career earning years to raising the family and keeping up the home while being supportive of their husband’s careers and businesses are in fear of being left homeless on the streets. It is mind boggling how married couples agree to a traditional family role, where the husband is the bread earner, Mom stays home working full time raising the kids and taking care of the home, while Dad rises to the top of his career, then decides to walk away when things are financially good. They see their hard work in the form of a paycheck, but look down on the EX because she never earned a paycheck. No credit is given for her years of hard work. After a divorce, she is seen as a worthless freeloader and is expected in her later years to suddenly understand the world of business and be able to enter society and make a living wage equal to her Ex-husbands. This is the reality of many women who devoted their lives to the kids and husbands making sure the family home was a place of love and safety. Now that the kids are grown and the career is established, time to kick the wife to the curb! The PAC would see these women homeless living out of bags if that meant they didn’t have to pay a dime.

    • Michel (Michael) Buhler

      March 21, 2019 at 10:09 am

      HI Sue, I understand your perspective and the fear of having to fend for oneself when one has been out of the workforce for a long time. The truth, I believe, is somewhere between a total elimination of alimony and alimony for life. Florida law specifically calls for the even distribution of marital assets built up during the marriage – and in a long term marriage – the “peak earning years”. If a couple divorces at retirement age, what is distributed at divorce, is basically all the couple built up. If a couple divorces after 17 – 20 years (which is the average of what our alimony payors tell us what the length of marriage), it is entirely feasible that with half the assets of the marriage AND a period of support of up to 50% of the length of the marriage, the lesser earning spouse can become productive and support themselves. Just as alimony recipients point to the worth of their efforts as homemakers, it is also important that they acknowledge the sacrifices of time, effort and worry that alimony payors go through having to support someone who Florida laws have presumably separated for life. My wish is that both sides could eliminate the hysterics and focus on a solution that is equitable and fair and takes the lawyers out of the middle. They have done a great job dividing families and ex’s.

      • Beverly Steele

        March 22, 2019 at 8:53 pm

        I have a fair and reasonable plan for you. Make Alimony Reform in Florida for NEW MARRIAGES ONLY!!! That way both spouses can make an informed decision on who gets to go for higher education and who takes a career that requires heavy travel making it necessary for one parent to stay home. How many children do they want and to make sure there is a pre-nup in place to protect stay at home parents. This would solve all of your problems if you weren’t all about yourself. You could say you were protecting the next generation of Floridians. But in the end you are looking out for men and their new wives. The idea I put forth would easily pass legislation and nobody would be upset except for the men and their new partners you represent including yourself. You only put forth retroactive and arbitrary bills? The bills put forth had no thought behind and turned even reformers away knowing it was not going to stand up. Maybe you can be a hero and start putting forth non retroactive bills that have been reviewed by study groups and reap the rewards.

        • Debbie Leff-Kelapire

          March 22, 2019 at 11:31 pm

          People here need relief and there are thousands more like them. https://youtu.be/4aFVzfMoM1M

          What do widows do? Even life insurance is finite. What do people do when their spouse becomes disabled? What do people do in the 43 non lifetime alimony states do? This is just spoken by someone who would rather not face these questions.

          • Beverly Steele

            March 23, 2019 at 2:36 am

            Explain why you cannot put forth a non-retroactive bill for new marriages? Please! You dodge genuine questions. If you really want a bill that passes ‘to protect future generations’ why would you only stand by retroactive bills? We know the answer.

          • Beverly Steele

            March 23, 2019 at 2:45 am

            Explain why you cannot put forth a non-retroactive bill for new marriages? Please! You dodge genuine questions. If you really want a bill that passes ‘to protect future generations’ why would you only stand by retroactive bills? We know the answer. And if people need relief then a judge can grant a modification. I spoke with a few family attorneys in my area and modifications are granted in most reasonable situations. I have a feeling these people are being sneaky with their money like your leader Terry Power. You can scream from the rooftops these men are being wronged but none of us were in their marriages nor were we a part of the divorce. That is what a judge gets to determine. If the law didn’t allow for modifications already we could talk further but it’s there and men can take advantage of a modification whenever they feel it’s necessary.

    • Natalie Willis

      March 21, 2019 at 3:37 pm

      I was the breadwinner, maid, the mom, the one who worked. My ex husband sat on the couch and drank wine.
      And I pay him alimony. This isn’t 1950 anymore. Women actually work. In fact more than half of colleges and graduate schools are full of Women. And a well payo ng career can be obtained after as little as 18 months of school.
      We aren’t proposing to eliminate alimony; we want to make it fair. Half the length of the marriage mean that long term marriages are going to get long term alimony. But no one should have to work themselves to death to pay for a lifetime. The government itself pays benefits for only a short period of time.
      Sorry you feel that you are entitled to a lifetime of personal welfare benefits because you have your ex a few years of being his wife. The word being entitled, because responsible people take care of themselves.

      • Not buying it

        March 21, 2019 at 4:06 pm

        Natalie, as sad as this sounds, if he ‘sat on the couch and drank wine all day’ you made the choice to stay in that marriage. I myself chose to get out of a marriage (even with a child, knowing it would be difficult) because my marriage was no longer a partnership. It was a dictatorship. I lost several years of being in the workforce due to having children also. No alimony for me however because those gaps are two gaps, not one. And no I am not angry about that. I do however understand and see the issue with working gaps. And if mine were ‘together’ I would have nearly as many as those who do get alimony.

        Modifying a court order is not rocket science. Getting older as a payor has certain issues that come with it. There is no need to hire an expensive lawyer in order to modify support of any kind. Over half of the people going to court are doing so pro se.

        Now for some cold hard facts. You state your ex husband was not functioning in your marriage. You CHOSE to stay married long enough that alimony could be an issue. YOUR CHOICE. Others should not be penalized because some of you made bad choices.

        In a little over a year, I will have to either work 50 hours just to sustain, or I will have to get a part time job. I could have stayed in a horrible marriage and had a household income of well over 4k on household expenses of 1k. But I made a choice to leave. You could have done the same.

        • TJB

          March 21, 2019 at 5:33 pm

          Really? You’re gonna victim blame? You should be ashamed of yourself. I’m not buying and of your drivel and your entitlement minded ways.
          BTW…. You WILL figure it. I’ll bet once your alimony is gone you’ll miraculously find a job and a new relationship.

          • Not buying it

            March 21, 2019 at 5:48 pm

            Uhh read beyond your hate filled eyes. I don’t get alimony.

        • Natalie Willis

          March 21, 2019 at 6:20 pm

          I did not “make a choice to be married”. I made a choice to become divorced and my punishment was lifetime alimony. Had this been in New York, where my marriage took place, I would have paid rehabilitative alimony and it would have been over. My ex might be a healthier human being instead of a miserable man who will never remarry nor be productive

          I was only married 14 years and we both worked when we married. The person I divorced wasnt the person I married.

          Sounds like you regret not staying married longer,because if you did, then you could have raped your him of lifetime of welfare payments after missing “a few years” of employment.

          • Not buying it and done with your bs

            March 21, 2019 at 8:10 pm

            No actually, I am the happiest now in this point of my life than I have ever been. My only point of contention? You are your friends who attack and defame me and bulky my child. I warned you three years ago to leave her out of it. You refused. You continue to thisday. NO MORE! Everyone will know how you bullied a child. If this was only an alimony bill AND if your group had not attacked my child online incessantly, I probably would have been supportive to alimony receivers behind the scenes only – if that. But YOU and YOUR GROUP did this. YOU made the conscious choice to bulky my child. Deal with it now.

    • Tom Yeaman

      March 21, 2019 at 4:52 pm

      How little you know or think you know! I guess you believe in every case the man left the marriage for a young woman! Today more woman file for divorce than men do! In my case I worked from sun up to sun down building a business and making to best life for my wife and my children. Seemed a bit strange when my wife said she wanted a Breast Augmentation, Breast Lift, Full Body Liposuction, Dermabration, Teeth and Lip work. Working out with a trainer, Kick Boxing, Rollerblading, and Dieting! I thought she wanted to feel good about herself and for me until I was served with divorce papers by the police department at work! Reason for the divorce in the paperwork unreconcilable reasons. That usually means I’m interested in someone else! With the restraining order in the paperwork I no longer could stay in my home or be around my children. The day I was served I immediately had to find a new place to live I found out quickly I was completely broke every account every credit line every credit card was maxed out from Cash advances I did not have enough money to buy a cup of coffee. When the divorce was final I was penniless and completely buried in debt. I had to surrender every asset home, retirement money, stocks cash, and inherit all of the debt in order to keep my business . I had to pay $1200 a month per child for child support. No problem with that! And to date at the 15 year mark I have paid over $400,000 in alimony. I have to keep a $250,000 life insurance payable to my ex-wife should something ever happened to me. I’ll be 62 this year and I don’t see how I will ever retire Paying for minute alimony to a licensed psychologist that owns her own practice. She lives on the ocean I live in the country . She drives a Mercedes I drive a Toyota. Obviously you don’t know everybody story !

  • Women for Alimony Reform

    March 21, 2019 at 11:06 am

    I fully support Alimony Reform, if guidelines are in place it limits the lawyers ability to fleece the families money. Everyone will be treated fairly. I get the slavery lesson working and paying for something you already paid for is slavery to me. As you know this writer is a pay to play writer.

  • Natalie Willis

    March 21, 2019 at 11:06 am

    As a female lifetime alimony payer, and a member of the Florida Family Law Refrom PAC, I take offense to this article and I’d like to correct Peter about the reality if being an indentured servant. My able bodied ex husband sits home all day , watches tv, plays tennis, jetskis and dates women. I work 24 hour shifts at a trauma center so I can pay for his lifestyle. And I must work forever because my payments never end. How is this not slavery? I’m working to support another person who doesn’t work at all, and I’m forced to do this due to Florida’s antiquated laws.
    There are women here who want you to believe that because they stayed home with children while the children were small, that they are now helpless, needing private welfare, for life.
    I’m a mother too. I raised 3 very successful children while working full time. Being a good parent doesn’t preclude having a career. And now the kids are grown. And so are theirs.
    I’m not sugar coating my response to this writer who makes the terms ” fake news” and ” baiting” have validity.
    Since when is telling the truth inappropriate? Who has bribed or influenced this author to be so anti reform?
    Reform movements seek to MAINTAIN alimony until the ex is self sufficient. Long term marriages will get long term alimony.
    How is this unfair?
    I have a degree in Journalism. My college professors would have given this article the salami of the week, for just being the most biased.

    • Ginny Holt

      March 21, 2019 at 5:26 pm

      So true! My husband works over 100 hours a week to pay the 5k a month. His ex wife worked outside the home during the marriage and possesses a bachelors degree and other training. She works now but we pay for her to live with her boyfriend and travel the world in her spare time. We need a change with the current laws. This author obviously never gave up half of his earnings every month to a lazy ex wife or husband.

  • TJB

    March 21, 2019 at 11:13 am

    We all know Peter’s opinion on lifetime alimony. He “drivels” weekly about it.

    Permanent alimony IS slavery. With zero hope to retire or move on in life.

    This is NOT a rich man’s problem. We have folks earning $50k a year and giving up 20% of the gross to the ex wife. Can you imagine supporting two households on $50k?

    Most of the women/ men on permanent alimony got their “award” in their early 40’s. If they live to be 85 and their ex spouse doesn’t keep over from being worked to death, they will have collected for more than half their natural life and double the length of the marriage. How is that fair?

    Many of the women/men on alimony have degrees. Many have jobs and with the alimony actually take home more per month than the payer.

    Many of the women/men on alimony NEVER HAD KIDS.

    You, Peter, like to refer to us as a men’s rights group or a you call us a hate group. Well I can tell you that there are many women fighting to abolish perm alimony. Many are payers. Many are second spouses who has been married as long or longer than the first spouse was.

    Why is it hateful for the folks who worked and earned the money to want an end date but it’s not hateful for the folks receiving the money for no work or service to want the endless gravy train?

    What about the devoted men and women who worked their way up, was filled with ambition , worked hard to provide for and loved their family, only to find out their spouse was cheating? What if it WASN’T an agreement for the spouse to stay home? What if that spouse just won’t go to work?

    By your standards, the stay at home spouse is the only devoted person in the relationship. The stay at home spouse is entitled to a lottery that goes into perpetuity without any concern ever about the economics of it. If there is a bear market or recession the payer has to figure it out because the coveted stay at home spouse must be kept in their standard of living. Who knew that being a stay at home spouse actually made you royalty?? Guess I should have insisted on being a stay at home spouse.

    What’s going to happen if all the rest of us figure that out and advise our children, friends and neighbors to never work and to always sponge of someone else? That is after all the most lucrative circumstance in FL.

    Wonder who exactly is going to pay for all that once us workers age out and die?

    • Shelley McKaughan

      March 21, 2019 at 1:04 pm

      😮 as a matter of fact, Florida being a no fault state, adultry is irrelevant in most issues except alimony… please stop spreading lies and hysteria.

      The people I have come across on the alimony reform side view money as a means of control and coercion, and they carry that point of view through their divorces, and post divorce lives… financial abuse is the technical term I believe… maybe not all reformers, but the most vocal ones I’d say seem to fit this description.

      • TJB

        March 21, 2019 at 1:35 pm

        Oh Shelley…you are too funny. If adultery means nothing or should mean nothing then why are all those poor little old ladies claiming they are owed alimony because their husbands (supposedly) cheated on them with the young secretary? Can’t have it both ways.

        Furthermore…..If the argument for free money won’t stand up to receive unlimited unemployment benefits or welfare then it shouldn’t apply to alimony. There is absolutely nothing more than a sense of entitlement that separates the perm alimony recipients from anyone else on Earth.

        BTW Shelley….you better take a deeper look at the who truly views money as a means of control. Anyone wanting free money into perpetuity with total disregard for the payer, hides new relationships to keep the money and refuses to mediate in good faith are the true bullies. The true control freaks. You have at least one person in your camp who admitted to paying over a million dollars in legal fees. Seriously??
        $1 mil in attorney fees? Doesn’t that seem a bit excessive and perhaps a bit lavish? She could have invested that million and don’t pretty decent for herself. But nope……

    • Not buying it

      March 21, 2019 at 4:29 pm

      Men’s rights movements in the early days worked hard to get women on their side. Liz Kates, attorney in south Florida spent quite a bit of time and energy documenting the history of the mra/fra (fathers rights activists) movements. Simply visit her site @ thelizlibrary dot com to see. Having women in the men’s rights movement gives it credibility. You can then say, see it is not just us men. Women agree with us as well. Ms. Kates points out that fact on the luz library.

  • Ginger

    March 21, 2019 at 2:15 pm

    When you work and give someone half of your paycheck for your entire life… it’s like that

  • fred schecter

    March 21, 2019 at 2:20 pm

    Hold Me in Contempt

    I have paid my dues plus some

    In the land of the free and the brave

    Gave all my hard earned pay

    With nary a dime to save.

    Hold me in contempt.

    Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves

    Old, the young, those not yet born,

    Laws do and will change in time,

    But now, my time is gone.

    Hold me in contempt.

    What was my crime?

    Who did I hurt and how did I hurt them?

    The burden has always been mine

    And now I long for freedom.

    Hold me in contempt.

    Suffer the children

    The families torn asunder,

    Permanent alimony sentence. No chance to retire.

    Really? For life? How is this true I wonder?

    Hold me in contempt.

    Going underground, losing my bearings,

    Alienate my children, no justice, no hearings.

    No chance of modification,

    “You’re circumstances haven’t changed,

    Law reform is not retroactive for you,”

    You will, you must have the ability to pay.

    In this day and age.

    So Hold Me in Contempt

  • Bill Perkins

    March 21, 2019 at 2:43 pm

    Although I don’t have a degree in journalism I can spot an infomercial a mile away. Congrats whoever paid you got their money’s worth although it lacked any facts and was full of old Hollywood movies stereotypes.
    To use the term ‘slavery’ isn’t to compare the horrors of slavery from the 1800s to your cause. I’m a slave to my job, my boss works me like a slave, etc are terms that are used all the time. Permanent alimony is financial slavery, you are forced to involuntary servitude for the rest of your life.
    No one is looking to abolish alimony. It’s what opponents of reform want to push. It’s a false narrative.
    Your thoughts that eliminating permanent alimony will throw thousands of women homeless living out in the streets is laughable at best. If that was the case, why don’t opponents throw those stats around in states that don’t have permanent alimony? They don’t for one reason. Because that narrative is false, there is no fact to prove that!
    One word of advice if you want to be a credible author or blogger, seek the opinion of the other side!
    In the meantime have fun writing infomercials, I have some pots and pans I would like you to write about so I can make some money. Let me know how much you charge for an article.

    • Not buying it

      March 21, 2019 at 4:24 pm

      The difference though is that this group has actually stolen photos online of ‘real’ slaves and appropriated the horrors that ‘real slaves’ endured in comparing it to themselves. The ‘alimony slaves’ go on vacations,eat out several times a week, go to spas, and care for subsequent spouses who do not work. These subsequent spouses stay home and babysit grandchildren, or they spend hours on Facebook harassing the opposition and their families. I don’t get alimony. I asked for durational so I could complete a degree. It was denied. I have a child and even the worksheet amount that was calculated using Florida statutes was lowered. Yes I griped. But I did what I had to do. And I will continue to do so. I left my marriage when it became apparent it was no longer a partnership. Several of those in the pac made choices tonot leave their marriages. Like I have taught my child, there are consequences for every choice we make.

      I am personally just sick of the misappropriation of people who truly suffered. I am sick of these ‘reformers who attack their opponents – even children – when they share on social media. Why is someone like me who does not get alimony so active on this issue? Because they are hurting families. When you take no vacations, when you can’t eat out at all, when you don’t go to day spas ever, then you will be in the real world. Until then this rhetoric needs to end.

      • TJB

        March 21, 2019 at 5:40 pm

        If you didn’t get alimony and you do what you have to do to get by why can’t everyone do that?
        With reform you more than likely would have gotten durational alimony but honestly aren’t you more proud that you did it on your own?

        I do like your comment though, it’s a great advertisement for durational alimony and also that when you have to you pick yourself up p by the boot straps.

        • Not buying it and done with your bs

          March 21, 2019 at 5:56 pm

          I was a borderline case and only for durational. However if I had stayed married to the abused (and yes his abuse was very real, he didn’t just sit around and drink, he beat me, he put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger, he now after ten years has a lifetime restraining order). Abuse is NOT, oh I can’t go on vacation this year, or I can’t go out to eat.

  • Alan Elkins, Esq.

    March 21, 2019 at 2:57 pm

    Peter, you paint some pretty broad strokes. While I don’t necessarily agree with the contents of the opinions rendered by those individuals you refer to, I can state that the alimony statute in place is unfair. Simply stated, guidelines like we have in child support cases, would provide uniformity and consistency. It would also provide one less thing for couples to fight over in a divorce. Lastly, I am one of those individuals that believes that if you indefinitely provide people with “free stuff” there will never be an incentive to go out and become self-supporting.

    • Not buying it

      March 21, 2019 at 4:33 pm

      A woman in her fifties is hard pressed to compete with men and women in their twenties. Companies will look at the 15 years versus the 40 years that they can potentially expect from an employee. They will look at the health issues that someone in their fifties would bring versus someone in their twenties.

    • Not buying it

      March 21, 2019 at 6:01 pm

      Alan, child support and alimony are totally separate. Children cannot go to work due to their age. And nearly all parents who receive child support work. Alimony is generally for those in extremely wealthy families, for those who did Not work during the marriage who now only have just a few years to retirement.

  • Debbie Leff-Kelapire

    March 21, 2019 at 3:10 pm

    It is true that some things were once legal are immoral. It is immoral to see a lifetime payer have to have her electric bill paid by Catholic Charities because 65% of her social security check is garnished to pay lifetime alimony and she has only $400 a month to live on. There is nothing wrong with the post. Everything stated is true. All reformers want is alimony with an end date and the recipient having personal responsibility, the way it is in 43 out of 50 states in the US. The bills in the house and senate are modeled after the recent reforms in New Hampshire and Massachusetts where these issues were studied for years. New York abolished lifetime alimony in 1980. What is the hullabaloo over abolishing lifetime/permanent/until death alimony and making adults responsible? Why are Florida recipients “special?” This has nothing to do with children. Child support is a separate issue. Most lifetime recipients have older or adult children and are capable of earning a living, and even if they had to start out at minimum wage, you mean to say that after 10 years of alimony they couldn’t improve their situation? Let’s not forget they were “paid” for staying home by receiving half or more of the marital assets. This is about a small group of pampered and frankly lazy types who don’t want to take personal responsibility and are making a lot of noise saying that we are a hate group, anti women and anti children. This is propaganda at it’s best generated by a group that enjoys the gravy train, and it’s just easier to keep it than get up every morning and go to work. Ask our female alimony payers if this legislation is anti women. Ask the children of lifetime payers who have to help their parents if it’s anti children. So over this twisting of the facts by you Peter and the recipients.

  • Tom

    March 21, 2019 at 4:14 pm

    Peter:
    You’re an idiot. No one is saying that permanent alimony is comparable to slavery. What point you’re obviously to stupid or jaded to get is that just because it’s “legal” does not make it right. Lifetime alimony takes none of the emotional, physical,mental and obviously financial ruin into account when awarding it. The recipient’s biggest concern is when is my next alimony check going to hit my account, whereas the payer is constantly under the gun of making enough money to make that payment or face prison. PRISON NEVER EVEN ENTERS INTO THE RECIPIENTS CONSCIOUSNESS!!!
    So, as a lifetime payer in New Jersey, I speak from experience of how brutal this can be and how stressful it is on the payer. Funny thing, in 2014 NJ passed alimony reform, so on 8/31/14 it was perfectly fine to saddle someone with a debt that can NEVER be paid off, BUT, on 9/1/14 it was now unconscionable to saddle someone with that lifetime sentence. Unfortunately, those that were suffering enough to bring it to the attention of the lawmakers were left behind in the fix.
    Now it’s no more than the number of years married. Still brutal for some but at least there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

  • EndAlimony2019!

    March 21, 2019 at 6:33 pm

    I am offended at the reference of women being “cheapened” As a women I am more than capable of taking care of my self, the idea that you paint women as unable to care for them selves is pathetic.
    As a female who PAYS alimony to a lazy capable man who was able to graduate with a BA degree after our divorce which was higher than my own AD, i think you missed the mark on all that a payee suffers, financial burden is only a small piece of the devestation. I endured years of crap that lead me to file, only to find out that I had to pay this abusive person I was trying to get away from. The harassment was so bad I filed criminal charges to make it end years after the divorce. The thought that I can never retire is almost to much and leaves very little reason to want to live. The mental hardship is more than most can bear. I get emails telling me to get healthier so I can work to pay him etc..
    People need to wake up and realize marriage is a contract and once its done then you have to be an adult and deal with it. No adult should be placed over our children, that support ends at 18, so why does a grown person need longer? Get over yourself!

  • Voice of Reason

    March 21, 2019 at 7:49 pm

    Look here is my view ….the laws as they are only promote a welfare class after divorce….the marriage ends so be it. Split what there is and give the Man/Women time to get on their feet whether in a new relationship (if that is how they make a living) or support them for a period of time they know will expire to motivate them.

  • Voice of Reason

    March 21, 2019 at 8:08 pm

    I am wondering why this highly respected (supposedly).

    Peter Schorsch is the President of Extensive Enterprises and is the publisher of some of Florida’s most influential new media websites, including Florida Politics and Orlando Rising and Sunburn, the morning read of what’s hot in Florida politics. Schorsch is also publisher of INFLUENCE Magazine. For several years, Peter’s blog was ranked by the Washington Post as the best state-based blog in Florida. In addition to his publishing efforts, Peter is a political consultant to several of the state’s largest governmental affairs and public relations firms

    Put out this hit piece….. I wonder what his background is? Hmmm….

    • Not buying it

      March 21, 2019 at 8:14 pm

      Hi Terry. Still sad over your failed house campaign?

  • GP

    March 21, 2019 at 10:05 pm

    I praise the women that understand accountability and responsibility, and take care of themselves. I could write a book about why I despise women (and men) who live like a blood sucking leech for as long as they can. If -you- made the wrong choice of taking care of Bob until he turned 21 (while also going to the gym 7 days a week, doing yoga, and taking cake baking classes on the side) without any regard for the real possibility of divorce down the road, then you failed to plan for life. Your fault… It’s not too late though; go back to school and take any of the many technical programs available at a very low cost. Just don’t seat around blaming your ex and expecting a private welfare check for your stupidity.

  • Eye roll

    March 21, 2019 at 11:54 pm

    They want equality until it’s standing right in front of them them.
    Send me your all your babies and half your money, forever. Kid will be fine I’ll even send pics. You’re FREE to do whatever you like, you’re not my slave.

  • Jamel

    March 22, 2019 at 1:34 am

    This article is nonsense. The post was simply pointing out how two bad things (slavery and women not being able to vote) was once legal just like permanent alimony is. You anti reformers should be grateful that reformers are only trying to get rid of permanent alimony. I say get rid of alimony period. Only people with an entitlement mindset think an ex spouse should support them for life. Time to end this ridiculous law.

  • Bob

    March 22, 2019 at 4:31 am

    If the Florida legislature and governor fail to restore the civil and human rights of divorced alimony payers in Florida and you have no children to support, get out of Florida. Oddly, that was the solution slaves of the old south used. However, if enough people do this, I fully expect the Bar Association to seek federal penalties for avoiding perpetual persecution just like runaway slaves. The parallels to slavery are overwhelming and the violations of human rights glaring. And for those who practice quilting and shaming of men by saying their wives gave them their best years, husbands and fathers sacrifice their best years as well. It’s just that men have been devalued to the point that nobody cares about that.

  • John Fromularo

    March 23, 2019 at 4:38 pm

    This writer is obviously very biased and that is a problem work today’s reporting. Permanent alimony is an archaic system that traps someone in a relationship until death even though one of the contract members wants to end the marriage contract. That is what should be the focus of this article. Is your spouse wants a divorce they should not get alimony from you for the rest of their life. That is the part of this law that needs reform.

  • DONNA L BRYAN

    March 24, 2019 at 8:40 pm

    Well written article and I must say a brave man for writing about it– Thank you for bringing it open to the public

  • Free The Slaves

    March 26, 2019 at 4:31 am

    Lifetime Alimony = Financial Enslavement

    That’s the truth. The opponents manipulate the truth.
    Us lifetime alimony payers need to be freed from our slavery. Don’t like the word slavery? Too bad. That’s the reality of what lifetime alimony truly is.

Comments are closed.


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