Anna Eskamani, Joshua Simmons bring the jokes to Florida Democrats’ gala

State Rep. Anna Eskamani and Coral Springs Vice Mayor Joshua Simmons had what one could call “vibes duty” at the Florida Democratic Party’s Leadership Blue Gala, responsible for keeping things upbeat and moving along. 

That included a Jedi-themed introduction for actor Mark Hamill’s message to the Party faithful, and a segment in which the pair batted jokes back and forth like tennis pros casually at practice.

Simmons kicked things off by telling the crowd they had a couple housekeeping matters to handle for the gala.

“If you’re looking for the book-burning party room, that’s across the street,” he said, referencing the Moms for Liberty national summit that drew Gov. Ron DeSantis, U.S. Sen. Rick Scott, Attorney General Ashley Moody and two former Donald Trump administration Cabinet Secretaries.

From there, Eskamani and Simmons traded jokes for a tight two minutes.

“For all the renters here, I’m sorry to tell you that since you have started dinner, your rent has increased by about 10%,” Eskamani said. “But don’t worry, Ron DeSantis is going to ban critical race theory again for the fourth time. I’m sure that will help. Never let them know your next move.”

The DeSantis administration was unsurprisingly a main target.

“If you’re not feeling well, the Florida Department of Health is outside selling snake oil,” Simmons said. “So, please get some.”

Other people also came in for their turn.

“For folks who brought their little ones with us tonight, we actually have a room set up for your kids,” Eskamani said.

She told the crowd not to worry, as U.S. Rep. Matt Gaetz wasn’t allowed in. That joke drew particularly strong hoots and claps.

“And if you believe CRT is being taught to your first grader, you’re … wrong again,” Simmons said. “Little Johnny probably needs you at home working on their homework, but not worrying about their teacher’s sexual orientation.”

Part of the joke was the utter lack of segues between topics, so Eskamani followed up Simmon’s remark with, “Speaking of Jan. 6, how about those hearings?

“I tell you what Josh, there is one person in this entire state that loves those hearings more than us, and his name rhymes with ‘Don Atlantis.’”

Then there’s U.S. Sen. Marco Rubio.

“I love having a Sen. Marco Rubio — it’s true, I do,” Simmons said. “Because he lets me know that it’s OK not to show up for work. … It’s almost like he’s begging to be fired, but is afraid to ask.”