Bob Driver: Just how middle class are you?

For the past decade or more, Americans have heard this mournful tune: “The middle class is disappearing. Workers’ children will never be able to climb into the middle class. Without a strong middle class, our democracy will crumble.” And so on.

All of which raises the question: just what is the middle class? How do you define it?

Mostly by money. Look up “middle class” on the Web and you’re quickly drowned in personal income parameters. If you earn between $XXXXX and $YYYY per year, you’re automatically middle class.

Which is rubbish, of course, especially when you quote those same income figures to a resident of Yeehaw Junction and an executive living in West Palm Beach. As a valid yardstick of middle classness, personal wealth collapses.

A few years ago a man named Michael Derman published an article about middle-class traits. I herewith publish his checklist. The more of these indicators that fit you or your family, the more middle-class you are. Says Derman.

1. I have a career.
2. I own a home.
3. The yard surrounding my home is landscaped and well taken care of.
4. I am more concerned about the quality of my living and dining room furniture than I am about the quality of my appliances (TV, stereo, refrigerator, etc.)
5. I have cheese in my refrigerator almost all the time.
6. I have wine available at my house almost all the time.
7. When I have guests over, I serve hors d’oeuvres.
8. I buy clothes and other items without waiting for sales. If I want it, I buy it.
9. Very few of my clothes have bright colors (lime green doesn’t count). A lot have earth tones, especially the clothes I go to work in.
10. I owe a fair amount of money, but I am not concerned about it.
11. I drive a car that is smaller than standard-sized.
12. The people I spend most of my time visiting or socialize with are for the most part neither neighbors nor relatives.
13. I am very aware of what my peers think of me.
14. When I gesture, my gestures are small and contained.
15. When I walk, I do not stride. My steps are small.
16. I speak in soft, modulated terms.
17. I rarely raise my voice in anger.
18. I do not like tense confrontations with others.
19. In situations where I’m angry, I smile and keep my voice low.
20. From the time I was young, I expected to have a career, to achieve higher economic status than my parents, to marry for love.
21. I believe individual achievement is more important than group success.
22. The life I lead is pretty much the way life ought to be led.

How did you score? Were you struck, as I was, by the large number of factors that had nothing to do with money or education?

In the coming election it really may not be important that we define the precise meaning and limits of “middle class.”

Already it seems likely that Trump and his fans will demolish many of the political and socio-economic boundaries we’ve been accustomed to. Maybe Americans are hell-bent toward the classless society we’ve talked about all these years.

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Bob Driver writes for Tampa Bay Newspapers. His email address is [email protected]. Column courtesy of Context Florida.