Anna Eskamani, Joshua Simmons bring the jokes to Florida Democrats’ gala

fla dems eskamani gala star wars
Eskamani and Simmons traded jokes for a tight two minutes.

State Rep. Anna Eskamani and Coral Springs Vice Mayor Joshua Simmons had what one could call “vibes duty” at the Florida Democratic Party’s Leadership Blue Gala, responsible for keeping things upbeat and moving along. 

That included a Jedi-themed introduction for actor Mark Hamill’s message to the Party faithful, and a segment in which the pair batted jokes back and forth like tennis pros casually at practice.

Simmons kicked things off by telling the crowd they had a couple housekeeping matters to handle for the gala.

“If you’re looking for the book-burning party room, that’s across the street,” he said, referencing the Moms for Liberty national summit that drew Gov. Ron DeSantis, U.S. Sen. Rick Scott, Attorney General Ashley Moody and two former Donald Trump administration Cabinet Secretaries.

From there, Eskamani and Simmons traded jokes for a tight two minutes.

“For all the renters here, I’m sorry to tell you that since you have started dinner, your rent has increased by about 10%,” Eskamani said. “But don’t worry, Ron DeSantis is going to ban critical race theory again for the fourth time. I’m sure that will help. Never let them know your next move.”

The DeSantis administration was unsurprisingly a main target.

“If you’re not feeling well, the Florida Department of Health is outside selling snake oil,” Simmons said. “So, please get some.”

Other people also came in for their turn.

“For folks who brought their little ones with us tonight, we actually have a room set up for your kids,” Eskamani said.

She told the crowd not to worry, as U.S. Rep. Matt Gaetz wasn’t allowed in. That joke drew particularly strong hoots and claps.

“And if you believe CRT is being taught to your first grader, you’re … wrong again,” Simmons said. “Little Johnny probably needs you at home working on their homework, but not worrying about their teacher’s sexual orientation.”

Part of the joke was the utter lack of segues between topics, so Eskamani followed up Simmon’s remark with, “Speaking of Jan. 6, how about those hearings?

“I tell you what Josh, there is one person in this entire state that loves those hearings more than us, and his name rhymes with ‘Don Atlantis.’”

Then there’s U.S. Sen. Marco Rubio.

“I love having a Sen. Marco Rubio — it’s true, I do,” Simmons said. “Because he lets me know that it’s OK not to show up for work. … It’s almost like he’s begging to be fired, but is afraid to ask.”

Wes Wolfe

Wes Wolfe is a reporter who's worked for newspapers across the South, winning press association awards for his work in Georgia and the Carolinas. He lives in Jacksonville and previously covered state politics, environmental issues and courts for the News-Leader in Fernandina Beach. You can reach Wes at [email protected] and @WesWolfeFP. Facebook:


  • Joe Corsin

    July 17, 2022 at 3:11 pm

    Vote RED for ancient Roman plutocracy  in the name of Jesus Christ.

    Vote RED for pandering and bribing police for votes.

    Vote RED for claiming victory on the backs of others while doing nothing but talking.

    Vote RED for paying the rich for votes on the backs of workers while brainwashing the poor with abominable far right propaganda.

    • Impeach Biden

      July 17, 2022 at 5:27 pm

      Vote “Blue” if you support Eskamani. Enough said.

    • Impeach Biden

      July 17, 2022 at 5:37 pm

      Hey Joe. There will be no need to bribe police for them to vote “Red”. The defund movement by your liberal wackos ensured probably every cop in the United States will vote “Red”.

      • tjb

        July 18, 2022 at 12:35 pm

        Saying that liberals want to defund the police is like saying all conservatives are racists.
        Just a fact–Trump approved a bill during his LAST year as President defunding Public Safety organizations that included law enforcement. Biden has stated that he is against Defunding.
        Many cops support RED because they are NOT held accountable for their misdeeds while on duty.

        • Joe Corsin

          July 18, 2022 at 7:39 pm

          Wages fell to intolerable levels in St John’s County during TRUMP. People were being grifted to a husk by the immoral GOP hogs… racking up more for the rich on the backs of workers. Not s care in the world for humanity. For RED for slave labor.

      • Joe Corsin

        July 18, 2022 at 7:40 pm

        Vote RED for paying the rich for votes on the backs of workers while brainwashing the poor with abominable far right propaganda.

        Vote RED for blaming the opposition party for acts of sabotage and obstruction of government that perpetuate an unstable economy.

        Vote RED for, “I had it hard so I suppose the rest of the world should suffer the same fate.”

Comments are closed.


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