Drew Wilson
As part of a long line of renovations and repairs in and around the Florida Capitol, the state installed a series of new elevators that were supposed to help manage the flow of people up and down the main building.
These elevators — which require a person to select a floor before they get in and no longer have up or down buttons — have become the source of a steady stream of complaints from visitors and employees.
And it looks like the Florida House wants some changes.
The House’s proposed budget has language that holds back part of an appropriation from the Department of Management Services — the state agency that oversees buildings — that is “contingent on the department submitting a detailed remediation plan for the elevator system located in the Capitol Building.
The plan must incorporate solutions that provide the public easier access to offices and a dedicated elevator providing direct access to floors 15 through 21.”
Disability Rights Florida Public Policy Analyst Olivia Babbis called the elevators an accessibility nightmare. Babbis says the elevator has a blue ADA mode that offers little help.
“It will talk to you, but it’s not super loud. So, when it’s busy in there, you can barely hear it, when it’s reading off the floors for you to push the button. So, someone who is blind may have a really hard time with this,” Babbis said. “The ADA mode also tells a person which elevator to use. It’ll say ‘Elevator K.’ Well, OK, if you’re blind, where is Elevator K? It just has some goofy things like that.”
The ADA elevator mode is supposed to ensure the user has access to the closest set of elevators. But when the Capitol is busy the ADA mode doesn’t always work and directs her to the elevators that are furthest away, which she said “is a problem for wheelchair users, blind people and people with limited mobility. Like, we can’t go around chasing the elevators.”
Babbis faces obstacles beyond the elevators, though. Another big one has been parking. There has been no convenient ADA parking for Babbis, who drives her wheelchair-accessible minivan to the Capitol three to four times a week.
A map of the Capitol Complex shows there are ADA spaces in a parking lot adjacent to the Knott Building. But there is no public entrance to the building, only staff with security badges can access the building. DMS Communications Manager Dan Barrow said the ADA spaces are publicly available and that ADA access to the Capitol is located at a nearby lift located on the west side of the Senate Office Building.
Another advertised parking lot is off Monroe Street near the intersection of Apalachee Parkway and Calhoun Street. That requires people with disabilities to cross a busy four-lane road, something Babbis doesn’t want to do. Instead, she parks at the city owned Kleman Plaza garage near the Capitol and exposes her motorized wheelchair to rain and inclement weather.
DMS has promised changes in the past to make the Capitol more accessible, part of which was triggered by a lawsuit that was settled in 2012 according to the Tallahassee Democrat.
The agency last August touted the completion of a $45 million Phase 1 redesign that replaces hundreds of steps to the Capitol with ramps and elevators. The new “Waller Park” entrance was supposed to be completed at the end of 2023, according to the paper.
“They’re talking about all the improvements to accessibility. But I am still having to park over in Kleman (Plaza) and can’t deal with inclement weather,” Babbis said. “And I’m having to chase elevators, and there’s nowhere for me to park (my wheelchair) in some committee rooms. And the House podiums don’t go up and down. People use disabled bathroom stalls, and you have to wait to pee. You know, I mean, these are the kinds of things that we run into every day, while DMS is bragging about their accessibility.”
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Coming up, the usual assortment of news, intel, and observations from the week that was in Florida’s capital city by Peter Schorsch, Drew Wilson, Christine Jordan Sexton and the staff of Florida Politics.
But first, the “Takeaway 5” — the Top 5 stories from the week that was:
—Take 5 —
Boomerang: Gov. Ron DeSantis ended his presidential campaign and began refocusing his attention on his home state. DeSantis attended a ribbon cutting of an Everglades restoration project and touted state grants to help aid semiconductor manufacturing in the state. Oh, and he immediately waded into legislative issues by threatening to veto a bill that would have set up a fund that could have been used to help pay Donald Trump’s legal bills. Meanwhile, DeSantis’ Campaign Manager, James Uthmeier, is slated to return to his job as Chief of Staff for the Governor.
Screen blocked: The Florida House passed two bills aimed at curtailing online activities of minors. The first measure would prevent those under the age of 16 from being able to sign up for a social media account, while the second bill would require adult websites to put in place age verification requirements. Backers of the social media bill contend such platforms are addictive and harmful to minors. Senate President Kathleen Passidomo has already said she is supportive of the House bills even though some tech companies are already talking about challenging the social media legislation if it becomes law.
One for the record books: More than 4.21 million Floridians have signed up for health insurance through Obamacare according to the final numbers for this year’s open enrollment period released by the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services. Florida’s enrollment in the Obamacare exchange eclipses the prior year’s enrollment and far exceeds enrollment in any other state. Texas, which had 3.48 million people sign up, is a distant second. Nationwide, more than 21 million Americans are relying on health coverage either through Healthcare.gov or state-created marketplaces.
Yes: The Florida Supreme Court this week agreed to take up a challenge to the constitutionality of a federal redistricting plan DeSantis developed. In doing so, the court rejected the state’s argument to deny the request from voting rights groups to hear the complaint. The plaintiffs turned to the state Supreme Court in December after the 1st District Court of Appeal in Tallahassee upheld the redistricting plan as constitutional, quashing a lower court ruling. While the high court agreed to hear the case it’s not clear that any decision will be made before the April 26 qualifying deadline for federal office candidates.
Follow the money: House and Senate leadership released their budget proposals Friday, setting the stage for each chamber to pass the plans later in the session and before starting negotiations between the chambers. The Senate plan is $115.9 billion in total, with the House version $392 million less. That’s not a lot in a 12-figure budget, but there are larger gaps between the sides in important areas of the overall spending plan. In PreK-12 and higher education, the Senate wants to spend $32.1 billion; the House prefers $2 billion less. In health and human services, the House is seeking $49.2 billion in outlays, while the Senate comes in $3 billion less than that. Each chamber’s plan is more than the $114.4 billion budget the Governor recommended but less than the $117 billion spending plan for the current fiscal year.
— B+ effort —
The number of students capping off their K-12 career with a diploma and a handshake has reached an all-time high according to new data being touted by the DeSantis administration.
The Governor and the Department of Education said the graduation rate for the 2022-23 school year hit 88%, which represents an increase of 1.1% over the prior year.
There is a caveat, however.
The new figures lag slightly behind those posted during the 2019-20 and 2020-21 school years when the pandemic was raging and certain graduation requirements — namely standardized testing — were suspended.
Still, there are many positive trends in the 2022-23 data. Graduation rates for nearly all student subgroups have increased over the past five years, including a 4.9% increase for students with disabilities, a 0.9% increase for economically disadvantaged students and a 1.7% increase for Black students.
“Florida’s graduation rate continues to climb because our educators place a sole focus on academics in the classroom,” DeSantis said. “Whether Florida students choose a four-year university or non-traditional post-secondary learning, they will have built a strong foundation to set them up for success.”
Education Commissioner Manny Diaz Jr. added, “Graduating high school is important for any student’s future. It’s the culmination of many years of dedicated learning, and an accomplishment that prepares students for good jobs, for college admissions and for a better all-around future. Since Gov. DeSantis took office, high school graduation rates have climbed to unprecedented levels in our state. I’m so proud of our world-class educators and what this means for students, families and future generations of Floridians.”
— Zero tolerance —
Attorney General Ashley Moody is reiterating Florida’s “zero-tolerance” stance on human trafficking during Human Trafficking Prevention Month.
She and other Cabinet members this week introduced a resolution, since signed by the Governor, praising law enforcement, local governments and communities across the state “for remaining vigilant and cognizant of the issue in order to protect citizens and visitors of our great state.”
Moody emphasized the need to raise public awareness by pointing to U.S. Department of State data estimating that there are as many as 27.6 million victims of human trafficking worldwide at any given time.
“Florida is a zero-tolerance state for human trafficking. Our Statewide Prosecutors work hard to stop traffickers, with a nearly perfect conviction rate,” Moody said in a news release.
“We also are dedicated to raising awareness of potential signs of trafficking and have trained thousands of Floridians to spot and report this crime — from truck drivers to those who work in our ports, hospitality and medical industry and many others in our state’s workforce. The Governor and Florida Cabinet stand united in our resolve to stop traffickers, rescue victims and end this atrocious crime.”
The resolution comes shortly after the state’s top cop announced that Tampa General Hospital became the first institution of its kind to join the 100 Percent Club, which recognizes companies and organizations that take proactive steps and pledge to train their employees on the signs of human trafficking and how to report it safely and effectively.
Since taking office, Moody has also launched a program called Highway Heroes that educates truck drivers on the signs of human trafficking so they can better spot victims and perps as they cruise along Florida’s roadways.
— More from Moody on human trafficking —
Moody this week also announced this week that a program meant to make human trafficking survivors more comfortable in their homes is now being offered in Miami-Dade County and that Airbnb made a $100,000 contribution to the Florida Alliance to End Human Trafficking.
Project Protect, which provides free-of-charge doorbell surveillance cameras to survivors of human trafficking, domestic violence and sexual violence, is now available to survivors in Miami-Dade County. Doorbell surveillance can be a valuable tool to help survivors feel safer at home because according to the Safe House Project, 80% of trafficking victims are revictimized after finding freedom.
The information about Project Protect is placed in Clerk of Court offices in participating counties. Court staff can connect survivors with local victim advocates who assist each survivor through the process of receiving a free doorbell camera.
“Project Protect will give our Domestic Violence team members and local partners another tool to help victims feel more secure at home. In 2023, my office processed 8,313 injunction petitions, and Project Protect will help stop the cycle of violence in our community,” Moody said.
Miami-Dade County Clerk of Court and Comptroller Juan Fernandez-Barquin said, in a release.
Moody this week also praised Airbnb for a $100,000 contribution it made to the Florida Alliance to End Human Trafficking.
“Airbnb is proud to contribute to helping to fund the vital work the Florida Alliance to End Human Trafficking is doing to combat trafficking in communities across our state and help empower those on the front lines. We look forward to seeing this grant support the Alliance’s vital mission to educate and train as many businesses and individuals across Florida to spot the signs of human trafficking and prevent future exploitation.,” Airbnb U.S. Southeast Head of Policy Viviana Jordan said in a news release.
— In and out —
Chief Financial Officer Jimmy Patronis pitched a plan that would have cut a $5 million check to Trump’s legal team to cover the costs of defending against so-called alleged “political discrimination.”
Patronis previously called for the fund to be set up after Trump was hit with indictments and charges relating to several allegations in various jurisdictions. On Monday, he touted bills filed by Sen. Ileana Garcia (SB 1738, SB 1740) that would put the plan into practice.
Patronis, who has long advocated for such a fund, praised the Miami Republican for having the “guts” to put it on paper. His statement was premature, however.
Garcia’s bills were under consideration for all of five minutes before DeSantis — who until very recently was challenging Trump for the GOP presidential nomination — flexed his influence to put the kibosh on them.
“But not the Florida Republican who wields the veto pen …,” DeSantis tweeted in response to a story suggesting Republicans in the Sunshine State were in favor of such a plan.
Garcia, showing her ability to read the room, quickly hit Ctrl-Z.
“This bill was filed on Jan. 5 amid a crowded primary, including two Florida residents. My concern was the political weaponization against conservative candidates and while (Patronis) brought me this bill at a time when all candidates were committing to campaign through the primary, one front-runner now remains and he can handle himself,” she said in a statement announcing the legislation’s withdrawal.
Considering DeSantis was fresh off ending what has been called the “worst campaign in history,” one could easily allege sour grapes abound in the Governor’s office. Still, he was quick to endorse Trump when he bowed out on Sunday.
— Nominations open —
Agriculture Wilton Simpson announced the opening of the nomination process for the Woman of the Year in Agriculture Award and the Agricultural-Environmental Leadership Awards on Monday.
The Woman of the Year in Agriculture Award recognizes the achievements of women who have made outstanding contributions to Florida agriculture and the Agricultural-Environmental Leadership Awards are presented annually, spotlighting environmentally innovative growers and ranchers who share a commitment to ag practices that protect and preserve Florida resources.
Nominations for both awards must be submitted by March 1, 2024.
“These awards are a celebration of the exceptional individuals who have contributed to the growth and innovation of Florida’s agriculture industry,” Simpson said in a news release. “I encourage everyone to nominate deserving individuals who have made significant and lasting contributions to agriculture — their dedication, innovation and unwavering commitment deserve recognition.”
The Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services started the Woman of the Year Award program in 1985. Past honorees have come from throughout the agriculture community, including cattle, horticulture, timber, citrus, agriculture education and more. A list of past honorees is available online.
The Agricultural-Environmental Leadership Award was launched in 1994. The program spotlights the environmentally innovative farming practices of the state’s growers and ranchers.
Nomination forms for the Agricultural-Environmental Leadership Awards can be obtained and submitted online or by downloading the nomination form and mailing the completed form. More information and updates on the Agricultural-Environmental Leadership Awards can be found on FDACS’ website.
— Feel the burn —
Monday marks the start of the state’s annual Prescribed Fire Awareness Week, highlighting the importance of prescribed fire burning.
“Prescribed fire is the best tool we have to significantly reduce the chances of catastrophic wildfires and maintain the health of our forests,” Simpson said in a release. “By clearing the buildup of underbrush that fuels wildfires, prescribed burns help protect both lives and resources, ensuring that our forests, wildlife, and ecosystems are preserved for future generations.”
Nearly half of Florida is made up of forests and its landscape is a fire-adapted ecosystem that depends on recurring fire to renew the forest and habitats that support native plants and animals.
To that end, the Florida Forest Service administered the largest and most active prescribed fire program in the nation in 2023, issuing 85,000 open burn authorizations on more than 2.2 million acres, including more than 157,000 acres of forest land owned by the state. Prescribed burns in Florida typically occur between December and March, when the days are cooler and the winds more predictable.
“Florida is a leader in the use of prescribed fire. With our long-term and continued approach, we can safely manage the state’s fire-dependent and fire-prone landscapes,” Florida Forest Service Director Rick Dolan said in a news release. “This week is an important reminder of all that Florida’s foresters and wildland firefighters do to keep us safe.”
To learn more about prescribed fires, go to the website maintained by The Florida Forest Service and Tall Timbers Research Station and Land Conservancy.
—Instagram of the week —
—The week in appointments —
Escambia County Supervisor of Elections — The Governor appointed Robert Bender as Escambia County Supervisor of Elections. Bender, who lives in Pensacola, currently represents District 4 on the Escambia County Commission. He is also a member of the Florida Association of Counties Board of Directors and the Gulf Consortium Board of Directors and is the Secretary and Treasurer of the Institute for County Government. Bender earned his bachelor’s degree from Rhodes College and his master’s degree in business administration from Emory University.
North Lake County Hospital District — DeSantis has appointed Mark Jordan to the North Lake County Hospital District. Jordan, who lives in Fruitland Park, is the owner of Hangar Houseware and is a former firefighter and paramedic for the city of Leesburg. He previously served as a member of the City of Leesburg Municipal Fire Pension Board. He earned his associate degree from Lake-Sumter State College, his bachelor’s degree in organizational management from Warner University, and his paramedic and firefighter certification from Lake Technical College.
— All boom, no bust —
FloridaCommerce is celebrating Economic Development Week, and the entity formerly known as the Department of Economic Opportunity provided several reasons lot to be proud of this year.
“Florida Economic Development Week provides an opportunity to recognize the impacts of strategic economic development efforts across the state,” Commerce Secretary J. Alex Kelly said. “From targeted workforce education, international development and small business support, Florida’s economy is focused on the success of both job seekers and job creators.”
Touted stats include a handful of No. 1 rankings: Florida is first in talent attraction according to Lightcast; the leading state for entrepreneurship according to The Digital Project Manager; and raw data shows the state is also tops in new business formations.
The department also pointed to the Florida Chamber of Commerce’s data showing the Sunshine State’s economy would rank as the 14th largest in the world if measured as a country — Florida’s $1.44 trillion GDP places it on par with Mexico.
To top it off, Florida boasts a AAA credit rating and has outpaced the nation in real GDP growth, a measure that’s adjusted for inflation, for 10 consecutive quarters.
FloridaCommerce’s announcement included an array of statements attributing the state’s economic success to DeSantis, including one from the head of Florida’s tourism marketing arm, which recently trumpeted some record-setting numbers of its own.
“Thanks to Gov. DeSantis’ freedom first policies, Florida continues to set records for visitation,” said VISIT FLORIDA President and CEO Dana Young. “Florida’s booming tourism industry is tied to Florida’s continued economic growth, and this Florida Economic Development Week, we are proud of the success of Florida’s tourism industry today and look forward to its growth for years to come.”
—That didn’t take long —
Hours after a House Civil Justice Subcommittee approved legislation to crack down on third-party litigation financiers, the bill (HB 1179), was placed on the Monday agenda for the House Justice Appropriations Subcommittee.
HB 1179 cleared the House Civil Justice Subcommittee Thursday morning after a spirited debate and a 10-7 vote. By 4 p.m. the bill had been added to the civil justice spending subcommittee’s agenda, its second of three scheduled committee stops in the House.
The bill is backed by the Florida Justice Reform Institute and other insurance and business lobbyists. The Florida Justice Association, which represents the state’s trial attorneys, opposes the measures as written.
The House bill has garnered 75 lobbyist registrations.
Meanwhile, the Senate Criminal Justice Committee will hear SB 1274, the counterpart to the House bill, on Tuesday. SB 1274 only has two committee references and, if passed by the Criminal Justice Committee on Tuesday, would be available for consideration by the full Senate.
One high-profile case involving third-party financiers is Bollea v. Gawker Media. Plaintiff Terry Bollea (known professionally as Hulk Hogan) sued Gawker Media for publishing on its website a video of Bollea engaging in sexual relations with a married woman.
Billionaire and PayPal co-founder Peter Thiel secretly funded Bollea’s lawsuit. Gawker, in 2007, published a piece outing Thiel as gay, but Thiel denied that impacted his choice to fund the suit.
The jury ultimately found Gawker liable and awarded Bollea $115 million in compensatory damages and $25 million in punitive damages; a few months later, Gawker filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy and sold several of its media outlets before settling with Bollea for $31 million.
— 904 is a 10 —
Monday marks the beginning of mandatory 10-digit dialing for all customers using the 904 area code, with the goal being to prepare people living in Nassau, Duval, Baker, Bradford, Clay, St. Johns, and Union Counties for the launch of the region’s new 324 area code overlay.
Beginning Feb. 26, existing phone customers requesting new service, or an additional phone line may be given the new 324 area code. The Public Service Commission initially approved the new area code in May 2022 because the 904 area code is running out of available numbers. The two area codes will coexist.
Area codes are a part of the telephone number that routes long-distance calls to their destination. An area code, combined with the first three digits of a seven-digit local telephone number, is called the NXX code. Typically, phone companies have 7,920,000 numbers to distribute to residential and business customers in an area code.
The increase in population, along with the proliferation of technology (everyone has a cellphone) has led to area code exhaustion, creating a demand for new area codes.
Permissive 10-digit dialing for area code 904 customers has been allowed since August to help ease people into having to dial the additional three digits. But on Monday, the voluntary becomes mandatory.
“My hope is that residents and businesses have had plenty of time to reprogram contacts and equipment,” said PSC Chair Mike La Rosa.
324 is the 23rd area code in the state. Florida’s first area code, 305, was assigned in 1947 according to the National Phone Number Registry.
— Goodbye and good luck —
The National Council on Compensation Insurance (NCCI) president and Chief Executive Officer announced his plans to retire in February 2025.
Brandon Fick, NCCI Board Chair and Chief Underwriting Officer at Liberty Mutual Global Risk Solutions North America, said in a company statement that a search committee is being formed to evaluate candidates and that the board is “committed to finding a leader who is the right fit for this unique institution.”
NCCI is a licensed rating organization authorized to make recommended rate filings on behalf of workers’ compensation insurance companies in Florida and 34 other states. The Insurance Commissioner, not the NCCI, sets the rates.
Donnell has been with NCCI since 2015. Before that, he was the president of Swiss Re’s Property and Casualty Reinsurance business.
“The work we’ve done together, in support of this noble profession of workers’ compensation, will live on to positively influence the lives and safety of workers across the country,” Donnell said in a statement. “I feel lucky to have been a part of NCCI as it completed its first century of outstanding service and began the pursuit of its next.”
— Across the Rattlerverse —
Florida A&M University is breaking new ground in higher education by introducing the Rattlerverse, the first official Metaverse for a historically Black college and university within Meta Horizon Worlds.
The immersive virtual world offers a futuristic opportunity to explore FAMU’s beautiful campus, culture, and current events all through an accurate digital experience.
FAMU alum and World Concept creative director L. Michelle Salvant said a skilled team dedicated many days and nights to virtually and accurately represent FAMU. This brave new world was crafted by the award-winning Meta Horizon World Builders Jeremy Duncan and Shika Duncan of Onyx Leaf Media.
“Watching the Rattlerverse come alive and truly start to take shape has been an incredible journey. I’m proud to continue leading the team that is taking my alma mater into a whole new world! This is just the beginning,” said Salvant.
The Rattlerverse can be accessed through all Meta Quest 2, Quest 3 and Quest Pro headsets.
“As the No. 1 HBCU, I think it’s always imperative that we always look for new mechanisms to reach our constituents. We do a great job with our campus visits, our social media, but moving to the Metaverse is something no one has done, and we pride ourselves on being innovators and strategists for the new generation of students. Every day something great happens at FAMU, and the Rattlerverse is another great thing that’s happening on our campus and in virtual reality,” said Vice President of Student Affairs William E. Hudson Jr.
The Rattlerverse provides visitors with an array of experiences, including playing football in the iconic Bragg Memorial Stadium and high-stepping as would the Drum Major of the renowned FAMU Marching “100” Band. You can even take the stage in the Rattlerverse edition of Will Packer’s Amphitheater.
“I think that this is beautiful. People will love this. It’s a 10 out of 10 overall experience,” said fourth year FAMU broadcast journalism student Nya Bostic.
— Get your Nole on —
Grab that garnet and gold and get ready, because Thursday is FSU Day at the Capitol.
Planned festivities include an outside pep rally from 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. in the Capitol plaza between the historic and new Capitol buildings. In attendance will be FSU President Richard McCullough and FSU Baseball Head Coach Link Jarrett.
Seminole Sound, FSU’s pep band, will perform, as will members of FSU’s Flying High Circus. Cheerleaders also will be on hand (is there such a thing as a pep rally without them?)
“Seminole Evening on Adams Street,” co-hosted hosted by the FSU Student Government Association, starts at 5:30 p.m. FSU SGA members will recognize state legislators who attended FSU. (We’re betting they are going to acknowledge fellow Nole, CFO Patronis, too!)
Share the FSU spirit by posting images of yourself wearing garnet and gold and social media and include #FSUDay and tag @floridastate!
— Irish art at MoFA —
The FSU Museum of Fine Arts is displaying the works of 10 Irish artists exploring the relationships between people, language, land and sea.
“Talamh agus Teanga: Land and Language in Contemporary Irish Art” is on display at the museum until May 18. The multidisciplinary exhibit features visual art, dance and film. The exhibit explores how the artists engage the Irish language or Gaelic, in contemporary creative practice.
“There’s something for everyone,” said Michael Carrasco, interim Director of the museum.
While Irish or Gaelic, is recognized by the Constitution of Ireland as the national and first official language of Ireland almost all government business and legislative debate is conducted in English.
The total number of people (aged 3 and over) in Ireland who claimed they could speak Irish in April 2022 was 1,873,997, representing 40% of respondents. However, of those, 472,887 said they never spoke it, while a further 551,993 said they only spoke it within the education system where it is a required course.
The exhibit features the work of 10 artists who are native speakers and learners of the Irish language: Kari Cahill, Ceara Conway, Liadin Cooke, Dorothy Cross, Miriam de Búrca, Katie Holten, Siobhán Ní Dhuinnín, Méadhbh O’Connor, Éimear O’Keane and Kathy Scott, director of The Trailblazery, a forum for Irish cultural activism.
—Capitol Directions —
The Process — Down arrow — Your boyfriend’s back and you’re gonna be in trouble … hey-la-day-la your boyfriend’s back.
Ron DeSantis — Up arrow — His campaign did a great impression of 2010 Margarito and not much else.
Casey DeSantis — Down arrow — Forget Walmart Melania. It’s JetBlue Jackie O.
James Uthmeier — Up arrow — Welcome back to the Plaza Level!
Alex Kelley — Up arrow — When the entire DeSantis infrastructure went to Iowa, the Capitol didn’t burn down. Great job!
Chris Spencer — Crossways arrow — ‘I am become death, destroyer of worlds.’ Or at least the destroyer of any appropriations for those on DeSantis’ enemies list.
Jimmy Patronis — Down arrow — If his goal were to make the Governor look sane, mission accomplished.
Joe Gruters — Up arrow — The former President doesn’t forget, and that’s actually a good thing for the Sarasota Senator.
Clay Yarborough — Up arrow — Did he spend the holidays studying under Philippe Petit?
Paul Renner — Up arrow — He pledged to be pro-kid. He wasn’t lying.
Ileana Garcia — Up arrow — She knows how to nope out.
Danny Alvarez — Up arrow — He likes his steak to moo. Or at least to have mooed at some point.
Adam Anderson — Up arrow — OK, Reddit detectives, start combing through the cold case files.
Doug Bankson, Fiona McFarland — Up arrow — Their eVTOL bill has wings.
Fabian Basabe — Up arrow — Sundance on Sunday, Tally on Monday, and a tan that would make George Hamilton jealous.
Joe Harding — Crossways arrow — Maybe he’ll be behind bars in 48 hours, but he’ll be home in time for his birthday!
Bobby Payne — Up arrow — Pop a top for the rural county champion.
Michele Rayner — Down arrow — Sorry, we didn’t realize all of Gen Alpha lived in your mom’s house.
Paper or plastic — Crossways arrow — You have to pick one. And don’t you dare say reusable totes.
Pornhub — Crossways arrow — Is Florida the Betamax of the online era? Eh, they don’t really care.
Sociology — Down arrow — Guess we’ll have to nap in Anthro.
Christian Ziegler — Down arrow — He’s still under the bus, but Bridget is driving it now.
Brad Levine — Down arrow — He’s not the first Levine to look bad after a little sunshine, but at least the other one can sing.
Early bird specials — Up arrow — A lot of them are pay-at-the-front, too, grandpa.
Kids who need homes — Down arrow — Sorry about that. FYI we’re thinking about making public sleeping illegal, so stock up on NoDoz.
Jimmy Buffet — Prayer hands — Our apologies to Rob Van Winkle, but Bubba has dibs on A1A.
Waterworks — Down arrow — Another one bites the dust. Here come the waterworks … er, tears.
