Blake Dowling
We all lose loved ones at some point in our lives, and we often contemplate what happens when we die. In recent years, three people very close to me have passed away, and the afterlife has been on my mind more than usual.
Do you ever look upward and say hello to those who have left us?
I do that sometimes, and I’m sure many of you have.
The big question is: Are they listening?
I lost three people: a long-term colleague, Brad Mitchell; one of my best friends, Quinn Toulon; and a family member, Tim Geske.
I used to text Quinn almost daily, so he is undoubtedly one of those I have looked up to and chatted with during sporting events. The same goes for Tim while writing columns like this one.
Tim was the one person I sent my columns to for feedback for over ten years. He was in my trust circle, and many others as well. He never held back; he would tell me if something was petty, silly, or ridiculous, and he would affirm it if it was excellent.
Bear with me, America, and Tim, I figure you are watching, so I hope this makes sense, my friend.
Tim was not just my writing sounding board; he was the kind of guy who would help with anything — moving, divorce, a lost job. It didn’t matter; Tim would give you the hat off his head, the food off his plate, and move your couch up three flights of stairs if needed. The world could use more Tims. We will honor Tim’s legacy this weekend and toast his kind and generous spirit at the beach he called home.
Speaking of spirits, do you believe we carry on as ourselves once the body expires? Is there resurrection, heaven, or hell? Earlier this year, I talked with Ron Sachs about these topics, and he gave me a book titled “Life After Life.”
Initially published in 1975, the author, Dr. Raymond Moody, takes a scientific approach to the afterlife by studying cases of those who have experienced near-death experiences (a field he coined as NDEs).
He compiles the commonalities shared in these cases and offers a glimpse of what may lie beyond for all of us. It is described as “science meets spirit in an exploration of the afterlife.” I usually read something like the Dresden Files or recently finished the Farseer Trilogy and “Expeditionary Force.” Reading a book like this is non-standard, but as I started it the other night, a History Channel show with Dennis Quaid called “Holy Marvels” about the afterlife aired, so it felt meant to be.
On the contemplative side, I hope you find these thoughts as interesting as I do. Perhaps Tim and Quinn can hear me when I speak to the clouds during a big Gators win or laugh out loud at a new column I wrote. I have always believed in Heaven and Hell, but hearing it in a different context in this book was enlightening.
On the practical side of the afterlife, while you, I, and our loved ones might continue as ourselves in spirit, I am pretty sure we will not be able to log into our social media, banking, credit card, or mortgage accounts after we transition to the next phase of existence. The idea of digital estate planning is something you need to add to your vocabulary and to-do list if you haven’t already.
Your digital afterlife must be accounted for, so including loved ones and your will or lawyer in your digital estate planning is essential. Secure credential inheritance plans are available, and you should check that box for yourself and your loved ones to minimize the headaches they might encounter. Think about it: does your spouse pay your mortgage online? Credit cards? IRS payments? Don’t leave these matters for someone else to figure out; develop a plan and be ready.
While financial access is critical, other digital assets, such as social media accounts, should also be considered.
Facebook has a solid way of handling this; they allow loved ones to request that a page be changed to memorial status. Memorializing an account stays active, enabling people to continue sharing thoughts, comments, and pictures about the person.
I believe that my three lost loved ones are in a better place and that they remain part of this world from another realm.
I also think technology has introduced new considerations we must all address as we prepare ourselves and our families for the unknown. I encourage you to develop a plan in that regard. I hope today’s column inspires you to read “Life After Life.”
I think of it often, as it provides a new perspective I had never considered before.
Regardless of whether you believe in the boogeyman, Santa Claus, God, or Allah, this book speaks to everyone about the human experience, and the death of the body is a significant part of that journey.
What happens next? We will all find out one day — that is a guarantee. Until then, get to work on your digital estate planning.
This column is dedicated to the memory of Tim and Normie Geske, with love.
